Time Changes Everything
by xElisabeth
Summary: 'Hello?.' 'Jax,' I managed to utter through the sobs. 'Who's this?.' 'It's Eliza.' I heard a woman's voice in he background, but he shushed her. 'Are you okay?.' 'Can you come pick me up?.' After losing her mother, Eliza Winston is forced to move in with an uncle she's never met, in a town where she knows no one. Fortunately for her, she isn't as alone as she thought.
1. Chapter 1

**AN:Hi guys. Welcome to a new story. Once again, it's an OC story and it will probably not be very long, 20 chapters at the very most. Something entirely different from anything I normally write (as those who've read my other stories might know). Hope you enjoy it anyway and let me know what you think so far.**

 **UPDATE May 12th 2017: Dear reader. Some reviewers notified me of some mistakes in the story concerning the niece/nephew vs. cousin difference. You are of course completely right! English isn't my first language and in my native tongue there's only one version (niece/nephew). I wanted to solve this problem sooner, but between my study and jobs didn't have time. The problem is, however, now solved! Thank you for bringing it to my attention!  
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Chapter 1.

I consider the first couple of years of my teens as pretty ordinary. I lived with my Mom in a small town where she worked as a nurse in the hospital, I went to high school, got okay grades and although I was never popular, I had friends. And even though I hadn't had a father figure for many long years, my Mom and I managed quite well.

My mother, Clarice Louise Winston, worked long hours at the hospital, regularly taking double shifts to pay for our bills. In the meanwhile, I helped around the house, cooked dinner and on the odd nights she was home, we would watch chick flicks on the television. Like I said, we managed quite well.

My life being as ordinary as it was, I think might have been one of the reasons why I did not see it coming. But then again, in hindsight I suppose I could have never seen it coming. My Mom had been what you could call "healthy as a horse". She was never sick, never stayed home from work and in the rare occasion that she did come down with a common cold, she would simply go on with her life as if nothing was wrong.

The 23st of October started off as any other day. I got out of bed, dressed and went to school. After class, I went to the grocery store and picked up the ingredients for our dinner that evening.

The moment I came home, however, I knew something was wrong. I didn't hear the sound of the television as I stepped into the hallway. I didn't get any response as I called for my mother. When I moved into the living room, I understood why.

She had died from a ruptured aneurysm in the left hemisphere of her brain. Later, one of her colleagues told me that she had mentioned a persistent head ache that particular day and that that was why she'd gone home early. It was of course all too little too late.

After that, everything was a blur, of which only some scenes were clear in my mind. I remember standing over her casket, looking down at her pale, cold face, thinking that this woman looked nothing like my mother. A couple of days later, I had been at her funeral, but for the life of me, I could not remember who had been there or who had spoken. It was only afterwards that the reality had really sunken in. My mother – the only person I had left in the world – had passed away.

Having no father anymore, it was decided that I would be placed under the care of my mother's older, estranged brother. I didn't know him, maybe didn't care that much, and before I could full well realize what was going on, I was shipped off to Charming.

He waited at the bus stop to pick me up and as I got off the bus, I knew it was him without ever having seen him before. My mother had not often talked about her older brother, preferring instead to leave "the past in the past where it belongs", as she would often say. On the rare occasion that he was mentioned, however, she had described him as a gruff old man who, after he had returned from service, had grown bitter and angry. Although my mother and him had never been particularly close because of the large age gap separating the two, she had said that she'd never resented him for leaving the family. Nevertheless, she had not seen or spoken to him in many years.

Piermont Winston was, as my mother had said, an older man, probably already in his sixties if I had to guess. He was sat on a motorcycle, an oxygen tank hanging by his side looking awfully out of place, and he watched me as I stepped into the light of a lamp post.

'Eliza?' His voice was rough, unforgiving and I felt as if he had already disapproved of me, even before I had had the chance to open my mouth. So I didn't.

I nodded, pulling my jacket a little tighter around myself. Despite it only being seven o'clock, the wind was cold and I resented myself for not dressing any warmer.

Without speaking, he handed me a helmet, which I put on rather hesitantly, and pointed over his shoulder. 'Sit down, it's only a short distance.'

Awkward wouldn't even begin to cover how uncomfortable I felt, clumsily stepping on the back of the motorcycle of my estranged uncle who I had never met before. In the meanwhile, I tried not to let reality set in. I did not want to think about how this was now my life; living with a man who I had never met, who probably wanted me around him just as much as I wanted to be around him. Tears pricked my eyes and I let them wander downwards, taking in the back of my uncle's jacket. "Sons of Anarchy" it said, the image of a reaper holding a scythe printed below. The information in itself wasn't new – Mom had told me was part of a notorious motor club – but it was suddenly so close, so real. 'I'm ready.'

The ride was indeed, like he'd said, short and before I had fully grown used to the wind hitting me in the face, we had already stopped before a house and I got off quickly. We entered the house in silence and I waited for him to turn on the lights. Taking a look around my new surroundings, I felt my heart sink even further at the sight of it's cold, impersonal interior. 'It's nice,' I tried, but the words sounded fake even to my ears.

'Your room is up the stairs to the right. There's a bed and a closet, if there's anything more that you need just buy it and I'll pay you back. Now I..' he actually looked uncomfortable now; a strange sight on his hardened face. 'I actually need to go to the clubhouse..-'

'I'll be fine,' I quickly supplied 'Don't worry about me, I don't mind being alone.'

For a moment, he looked convinced, but then he shook his head and muttered something to himself. Then, seemingly having made up his mind, he turned back to me. 'Get dressed. There's a party at the clubhouse, might as well introduce you to everyone.'

As I trudged up the stairs, my duffle bag slung over one shoulder and my jacket in the other, I pondered over what it had meant. Then, after opening what was the only door on the right, I concluded that he must have not wanted to disrespect my mother's image on the very first day. It was good to know that he at least felt such moral emotions, given that I would have to spent three more years with him before I turned 18.

Searching through the limited contents of my bag, I eventually came up with a black, snuggly fitted tank top with black lace details and a washed grey skinny jeans. Pairing the clothes with my favorite black ankle boots, I quickly swept up my dark hair into a high pony tail, applied some eyeliner and mascara, and headed down the stairs.

Piermont Winston, in the meanwhile, seemed not to have moved at all. He was still dressed in his faded jeans, black shirt and club jacket and with the grim look on his face, I could not help but think of how accurate my mother's description of him had been. He looked me over once, then turned to the door. 'Come on, kid.'

* * *

It was a short ride to the Sons of Anarchy clubhouse, but nevertheless, I was glad when we arrived. Or well, I was for a moment. The moment I got of the motorcycle, however, I wanted to tail back home – or well, what was supposed to be my home now – and hide under the covers for the rest of my miserable life.

The few people that held themselves up outside what I could only presume was the clubhouse all turned to stare at us (or more specifically: me) and I was more than happy when uncle Piermont led me past them towards the door. Once again, however, that relief was short lived because the moment the door opened, I had a sense of déjà-vu. Only a lot, _lot_ worse.

The room we entered was full of rough, unshaven men, drinking bear and playing with scantily dressed women that sat boldly on their laps leaving hardly anything to the imagination. And they all turned to look at me the moment we entered.

After some short introductions made by my uncle to anyone who dared to ask him directly for my identity ("She's my sister's daughter"), he dropped me off by the bar. Maybe he had forgotten that I was old enough to drink yet, maybe he did not know my age to begin with and maybe he just did not care all too much about what I did or did not do. It was apparent, however, that he felt that he had somehow fulfilled his duty as my guardian by not leaving me alone at the house for my very first night. I sighed softly, wishing that he had.

I stood there for what might have been half an hour, maybe longer, forgotten in the corner, attempting for all the world to not look as miserable as I felt inside. No one attempted to talk to me, no one spared me a glance unless it was to look at me with disapproval. And why would they? I asked myself. These people were strangers. Strangers that hardly cared whether I, the fifteen year-old girl who had just lost her mother, felt bad.

'Well hello there, girlie,' a deep voice spoke suddenly. If I had not been the only one in the vicinity, I would have thought him to have spoken to someone else. As it was, however, there was little chance of that as everyone seemed to be avoiding me like the plague. Well, except this guy perhaps.

'Hi,' I said softly, turning to look at the owner of the voice and immediately regretting doing so. He was an older fellow; maybe not as old as my uncle, but still old enough to be my father. He had black, greasy, slicked back hair and a unkempt beard to match it. As I'd turned to him, his breath fanned my face and I was about ready to vomit. He leaned over just a little bit more, invading my personal space to the point that I took a small step backwards, hitting the wall.

'What's a beautiful lady like yourself doing here?'

'Just tagging along, you know.' I shrugged, trying to sound more confident than I felt. In the meanwhile, I tried not to panic. My eyes scanned the area for anyone to save me, but then the realization hit me: No one here knew me. No one cared.

'Well, why don't we two go somewhere more.. private and then you can tell me all about that.'

He leaned in again but before his face could get anywhere close to mine, I ducked under his arm (for once using my small stature to my own advantage) and speed walked back to the bar, where I dropped myself on one of the stools. My heart was still racing and I looked over my shoulder anxiously. I did not trust myself to speak, so when the barman turned to me, I simply pointed to a bottle of untouched Coke I saw in one of the refrigerators.

Taking a sip from my glass, I closed my eyes and for a moment pretended that I was somewhere else. The spell, however, was soon broken.

'You're new,' a female voice declared and I opened my eyes to see that one of the scantily dressed women had sat herself down on the bar stool next to mine. She was tanned, heavy on the makeup, with her dark red hair falling in waves over her shoulders.

'I am.'

She stayed silent for a moment, looking me over with pursed lips. 'You're very young. I didn't know that… Well, I suppose to each his own.'

Not knowing what she expected me to say, I simply nodded in agreement, taking another sip from my Coke. Apparently, that was not the answer she'd been hoping for.

Her eyes narrowed on mine and she put her own drink down, crossing her arms in front of her chest. 'Well aren't you a little self-entitled bitch.' She leaned forward, her face only inches from mine. 'We don't want you here, outsider. If you want to be one of us, I'd better watch that attitude.' With that, she stood and reached for her drink. Instead of grabbing it as I'd expected her to do, however, she wiped it off the bar. And right into my lap.

I jumped up from my seat, quickly putting the glass back on the bar but the damage was already done. The front of my tank top was completely soaked through and there were some splashes on my pants and even on my suede ankle boots as well. The boots that my Mom had bought me on our last shopping trip.

Tears welled up in my eyes and the only thing I could do to save some of my dignity was to walk away from the bar and to a distant corner where the room seemed to be less crowded. I kept my face down, hoping that no one would see my tears, hoping that no one would try to make fun of me even more.

'Hey kid, are you okay?' A hand softly touched my shoulder.

I stiffened, wary of what this stranger would want from me. Another offer of sex – or maybe just a chance to screw me over. I held my breath, willing my shoulders to stop shaking and I looked over my shoulder fleetingly. 'I'm fine.' A sob managed to slip from my lips, however, and soon that same hand softly pushed me between the shoulder blades, towards a door that I had not seen before.

'Come on, let's get you out of here.'

* * *

He led me into another room, this one empty and silent, and sat me down on a bed. Before this could frighten me any more, he moved away and sat himself down on a chair across the room. For a moment, both us were silent and I looked down, watching as the tears rolled down my nose, then made the long fall to my hands.

'If you want to refresh yourself, there's a bathroom through that door.'

I nodded, silently moving into the bathroom that he had pointed me to. One look in the mirror confirmed how much of a mess I looked and I decided to avoid looking into that direction again. Instead, I peeled the wet tank top from my skin, taking comfort in the fact that at least my bra was not completely soaked. Then, I washed the sticky alcohol from my torso with cold water. It was not until this was all done that I remembered that I had, in fact, nothing else to wear. I shortly contemplated just putting the soaked shirt back on, but then, deciding that I had already embarrassed myself beyond measure to this man, thought of another idea.

'Do you perhaps have a shirt for me?' I asked through the open door, hoping that he would hear without me having to actually stick my head out.

Soon, a shirt was thrown into the bathroom and I gratefully pulled it over my head, watching it pool somewhere at my knees. Taking a quick sniff, I concluded that it was clean.

When I came out of the bathroom, I held my head down until I had resumed my seat on my bed, looking anywhere but at the man who had saved me.

'You're Piney's niece, aren't you?'

Unintentionally, I looked up at the sound of his voice – a deep, rough sound – and for the first time took in my rescuer. Blond, long hair, blue eyes, a baggy jeans and a white t-shirt underneath his Sons of Anarchy jacket. Furthermore, he was young as well – or at least compared to most of the other guys I'd seen so far – and somehow that thought comforted me. No more old perverts. 'Piney?'

'Piermont Winston,' he clarified, then took a look at my face, probably taking in the huge mascara smears underneath my eyes. 'Are you okay?'

I shrugged, trying to seem casual but at the thought of my recent misadventures, new tears already started forming. 'I'm okay. It's just been.. It's just not my day.'

He chuckled 'I would say so. Getting a drink dumped in your lap does not really strike me as a good day, either.'

I reluctantly cracked a smile at my own expense, but it soon faded at the reality of my situation. 'I just wish I was back home.. I don't belong here.'

'Eventually, it gets better, kid. Trust me.'

'Eliza.'

'What?'

'My name's Eliza. Constantly being called "kid" is making me feel like a 6 year-old.'

We sat in silence for a moment longer and it was almost.. Well, it was almost comfortable. For the first time since arriving in Charming, I did not feel quite so miserable. I laughed despite of myself. Here I was, sitting in a bedroom, in the clubhouse of notorious motor club, with a stranger. It was almost comical how things worked out like that.

A loud crash could be heard from the main room of the clubhouse and I jumped, although it did not seem to faze the man at all.

'Probably just an innocent fight; that's how most of our parties end.'

I wanted to laugh, but looking at his face told me that it wasn't a joke. I turned my eyes back to the door, the sobering realization that I would soon have to face the real world again dawning on me. 'I should probably go, uncle Piermont might be looking for me.'

He nodded and led me to the door.

'Wait,' I said as he was about to push the door open. 'I mean.. I'm sorry but I haven't even asked for your name.'

'It's Jax.'

And with that, he pushed down the door knob.

Outside, out in the main room, the party had much quieted down since we left. As Jax had said, two men were throwing drunken punches at each other, often too intoxicated to even come close to actually hurting the other. On the sofas, chairs and even the pool table, couples were making out unabashedly. I spotted the woman who had dumped her drink on me as being among them and I made it a point to stare at the back of her head.

'Piney's already gone home,' I was informed and I looked to see that my savior was, once again, by my side. 'Apparently he thought you'd left for home by yourself.'

'All right, I'll just go then. Should not keep him waiting, probably.' I started to make my way to the front door and was surprised to find that Jax stayed by my side, even opening the door for me. Once outside, I turned to look at him with a quizzical look on my face.

He simply sat down on one of the bikes, pulling out a helmet that he fastened over his head, then handing me another one. 'Come on, I'm taking you home.'

* * *

 **AU: So some short info. Yes, the OC is 15 at this point in the story. No, I'm not making other characters into pedophiles and have them fall in love with her. Next chapter is going to jump one year into the future (OC 16) and from thereon out I might make another time lapse until she's actually an adult. Also, I figured this is some time before the first Season, so I imagined Jax to be 26 at this point. Anyways, let me know what you think. I love reviews. (:**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Welcome back guys! So first of all, thanks for the mayor support I received in response to the first chapter. My guess is that you guys have to be very desperate for some new SOA fanfics, because I've honestly never gotten so many follows/favorites in response to a first chapter on any of my other stories. Anyways, I further want to say sorry for the '?.' in the summary. For some reason, when I only type questionmarks in the summary, FanFiction removes them again. If anyone knows how to fix this issue, do let me know. Also, big thank you to _decadenceofmysoul_ and _Emmettluver2010_ for their reviews on the first chappie. Note for this chapter: it's going to center around a pretty ugly theme so this is a warning that this chapter hints at sexual assault (nothing described explicitly). Anyway, enjoy guys!**

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Chapter 2.

When we'd come to a stop in front of my uncle's house, I had handed my helmet back to Jax and looked down at my feet awkwardly. 'I just wanted to say… thank you for today.'

He had of course waved it off and had then proceeded to give me his phone number. "If you ever need me, don't hesitate to call, okay?" I had nodded and fled into the house. The dying sound of his motorcycle could be heard even after I had passed a sleeping uncle Piermont on the couch and had gone up to my new room.

That night was almost a year ago and with that, it marked almost an entire year survived in Charming. Much had changed ever since and, at the same time, nothing had. Uncle Piermont – or just Piney, as he had insisted I call him – and I had managed to figure out a comfortable routine in which we both stayed out of each other's way as much as possible. He paid for my clothes, any school items I needed and even gave me a weekly allowance. In turn, I made sure there was food on the days that he was at home, kept the refrigerator stocked and did not pry into anything involving the club. It was almost like living with my Mom, except Piney and I did not watch chick flicks together. Apart from running our household, I wrestled my way through one year worth of homework and tests, barely passing the grade.

Although I was no longer considered the new kid at school, I was still as much an outsider as I had been the first day I walked into the classroom. I had never been popular at my old school, but people here seemed to detest me and that hurt... Or well, it did. I guess there was some wisdom in what Jax had told me that very first night in Charming after all: "Eventually, it gets better." Only now I realized that maybe that's not because situations change; you simply get used to them.

All in all, I kept myself busy enough not to realize the sad reality that was my life and it worked quite well. I was content.

And Jax' number had remained unused on my phone.

When I entered school that morning, I was surprised to see brightly colored banners and posters lining the walls. Taking a closer look, I noticed in surprise that Christmas was already coming up, the Christmas school dance with it. I wanted to be surprised that I had completely missed out on the announcement of the event, but then again no one ever talked to me. Sighing, I pushed the loneliness away, making my way to my first class, Biology, where I sat alone in the last row as usual. In front of me, I could hear people whispering about the dance, partners and, of course, about me. Although I wanted to shift the blame of my general.. _unpopularity_ on my association with Sons of Anarchy – or rather my family's association – I had been forced early on to accept that it was not just that. Of course they disliked me for being, as they put it, a white trash biker girl. But they bullied me because I was shy and silent, because I had no parents and therefore was an easy target. Then again, I was used to it.

I spent most of my morning classes in this fashion, sometimes switching between seats on the last row, but always alone, always avoided. You can therefore imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder as I was about to leave my last class before lunch and turned around to find Nate Larson, football player and general heartthrob of the school, standing before me.

'Hey Eliza.'

'Hi?' I said, my voice soft as my eyes darted around the classroom. No one. He was really talking to me.

'Look, I know the Christmas dance is already in a couple of days and all, but I was thinking; maybe you want to go with me?'

For a moment, I did not know what to say. Hell, I didn't even know how to speak anymore. Nate Larson, most handsome and popular guy the school, wanted to go to the dance... with _me_?

'Ehm… Eliza?'

'Right, yes. I'd love to.'

His smile was dazzling 'Great, let's meet outside the gym at eight, okay?'

* * *

The last few days before Friday passed by in a haze and I could not help but feel giddy. For once, I felt like a teenager and it was so... _normal_. It was great. I had informed Piney on Thursday that I was going to the dance and he seemed almost relieved. He was probably happy to have the house to himself for once. What I did not tell him about, however, was that I actually had a date. I had felt guilty over lying, but decided it was probably for the best. It did not concern him and besides, he probably did not really care either.

That Friday I was home at half past four, had showered at four and was completely dressed and ready at seven. I did not dare to go downstairs and watch some TV, if only because I did not want to subject myself to Piney's inscrutable looks and therefore remained in my room until it was time to go. Half of me was glad that Nate hadn't offered to pick me up (and come face to face with my uncle), half of me hated walking the entire distance (because my pumps were absolutely killing me). Nonetheless, I eventually arrived, the only evidence of my long journey the annoyed look on my face.

And that's when I saw him.

He was dressed in a black tuxedo, his blond hair slicked back to reveal handsome features and beautiful brown eyes. I quickly made my way up to him, unable to suppress the smile on my face.

'Hello!'

'Why, hello,' he looked me up and down 'You look beautiful.'

My cheeks flared red at the compliment and I looked down at my feet. No one had ever told me I was beautiful – well except if you counted that pervert my first time in the clubhouse. 'You look great as well.'

'Well, shall we?' He took my arm and guided me inside with all the poise of a true gentleman. When we entered the gym, which for this occasion had been turned into a dance room, I felt all eyes trained on us but for once I did not mind. This time people were not making fun of me.

The night passed like a dream. Nate got me punch, spun me around on the dancefloor and for all the world, I felt like a princess. During a particularly slow number, I allowed him to pull me close and I leaned my head against his chest. A sigh of contentment left my lips and I found myself wishing that it could always be like this.

But soon, the night came to an end, the lights came one and the bell burst. Slowly, we followed the other students outside, his hand holding my smaller one as he carefully pulled me through the crowd.

Outside, he pulled me to the side where we could have some privacy and suddenly, before I even had time to consider what was going on, his lips found mine. It took me a moment, but then I kissed him back.

We stood like this for a while, until at last I broke away, cheeks flushed and panting for air.

'You really are quite something, Eliza,' he said, nuzzling my neck and placing a feather light kiss there. 'Not at all what everyone makes you out to be.' Another kiss, now just below my ear. 'I bet you're not as boring as the other girls, not as much of a prude.' His hands were now roaming the bodice of my dress, gripping my hips at times and brushing against my breasts.

His touches made me uncomfortable, but I dared not object. Here was the one guy in all the school that cared for me, looked at me with anything other than disgust and I would scare him off. I was not boring.

His lips found their way back to mine and he pushed himself closer to me, my body now sandwiched between the outside wall of the gym and his warm body. I could feel every muscle, every curve and became uncomfortably aware of something hard pushing against my inner thigh. 'Let's make this a night to never forget,' he whispered slowly, pushing my legs apart with his knee as his hands continued to roam my body, now openly groping my breasts, and his mouth sucked on my neck.

When his left hand hiked up my dress, brushing a little too closely to my private regions, I broke away from him. 'No, wait. I don't… I don't want this.'

'Come on, Eliza, don't be such a prude. I promise to be gentle,' he added the last in laughter, his hands already finding their way back to my body.

'No, stop,' I said again, this time more resolute, and stepped away from his embrace 'I am not ready for this. I am sorry.'

He stood still for a moment, then he straightened himself up and it only now dawned on me just how much taller he was than me.

Instinctively, I took another step back.

'I see. Little Eliza doesn't want to play.'

I realized the situation I was in. The other students had long gone home, there was no one around to help me and Nate was a lot bigger and stronger than I was. I did not trust myself to speak and so I simply shook my head.

'But it's not very nice of you to get me all excited and then leave me hanging like that.'

'I'm sorry, I'm just...-'

'Not ready, yes you said that already. But maybe there's another way to... help me.' His eyes glinted in the moonlight and I noticed how his hand moved down to the zipper of his pants.

'No, Nate, I...-'

'Quid pro quo, little Eliza. I promise it will all be over soon.'

* * *

Nate had left long ago.

I did not know how long I had been sitting there, my dress dirty from kneeling in the dirt and the disgusting taste of _him_ still lingering in my mouth. I had vomited two times already, the remainders of my dinner covering the ground not far from where I sat, but still I tasted him, still I felt his hands on my body.

I could not stay here, I knew that. As tiny a town as Charming was, being out at night still wasn't a very smart thing to do for a girl. Nate might not have raped me, but if I remained here it was only a matter of time before someone would take care of that. I shivered, a fresh round of tears welling up in my eyes.

I could not call Piney, could not face him after what had happened and pretend I was fine. I could not stand to be subjected to another of his inscrutable looks, knowing how worthless he must think me. And so, I did the only thing that I could think of.

'Hello?'

'Jax,' I managed to utter through the sobs.

'Who's this?'

'It's Eliza.'

I heard a woman's voice in the background, but he quickly shushed her. 'Are you okay?'

'Can you come pick me up?'

'Of course. Where are you? Are you all right?'

'I'm at the school gym. Please just come get me.'

'I'll be right there.'

* * *

As he'd promised, it was mere minutes before the sound of a motorcycle filled the cold night and I pushed myself off of the dirty ground. I wiped my hands on the skirt of my dress, knowing it was far beyond salvaging anyway and slowly stumbled my way towards the street.

Soon, a motorcycle turned the corner and I let out a sigh of relief. I was safe. 'Thank you for coming. I am really sorry for bothering you but there was no one else I could call and I just, I didn't know what to do and…' A fresh wave of tears poured down my cheeks and I wrapped my arms protectively around myself, as if that would somehow stop me from breaking down. 'I am so sorry.'

'What happened?' His eyes swept over my body, taking in the dirt on my dress, on my knees, my hair and makeup a mess. 'Who did this to you?'

'Please just take me away from here.'

His jaw set and I knew he wanted to argue, press for the identity of the perpetrator, but was glad that he didn't. 'Fine, I'll bring you home.'

My heart halted and I reached for his arm. 'No!' Then, softer, I added: 'I can't go home like this. Piney can't see me like this. Please, Jax.'

Eventually he relented and he silently handed me the spare motor helmet.

With shaking knees I climbed on the back and wrapped my arms tightly around his waist. I lay my head against his back, closed my wet eyes, and then we were off.

I did not open my eyes until we slowed down and then, to my surprise, saw that we were back at the Sons' clubhouse. Jax helped me off and then pulled me towards the door. As we crossed the main room, I kept my eyes trained on my feet, the state of my pastel pink pumps hardly affecting me. They might be ruined – but I was broken.

Soon, I found myself back in the room Jax had brought me to all that time ago. He rummaged around in one of the drawers, then handed me a pile of clothing which I numbly accepted. My mind did not catch up until he spoke again.

'Go get a shower, it will help.'

I doubted it would, but nonetheless nodded and disappeared into the bathroom. I stripped out of my dress and kicked the offending piece of clothing into a corner. Then, freeing my hair, I stepped into the shower cabin and turned on the hot water. For what felt like an eternity, I simply stood there; miserable, shaking, not even registering the scalding hot water that turned my skin red.

There, standing in the safety of the Sons' clubhouse, in the shower, I still felt him. I threw up again.

As I straightened up, I grabbed one of the soap bottles and started scrubbing vigorously to get his filth of my body. But no matter how hard I scrubbed, it was useless. He had already passed through my skin, like a virus spreading through my body and tainting me from the inside out.

With my skin scrubbed raw, I finally turned off the water and got out. I toweled off, then found the pile of clothing Jax had sat out for me, which turned out to be another one of his white shirts and a baggy sweatpants. The oversized items covered me from head to toe, for which I was glad. Slowly, I made my way back into the bedroom. 'Thank you.'

I realized he must have heard my vomiting, must see how the skin on my arm was red and even scraped away at some places, but he said nothing.

I trailed my way to the bed and sat beside him, pulling my knees up to my face and dropping my head against them. Tears were already burning behind my eyelids again and I hated Nate. I hated myself for being so weak.

'Eliza… what happened?'

I shook my head 'I don't... it was my own fault. I should have never gone to that stupid dance, should have just…'

'Hey,' he said, touching my shoulder softly 'What happened is not your fault, okay? Whoever did this is a fucking idiot and I will kill him personally whether you want it or not.'

'Please don't, I just…' I closed my eyes again, allowing myself to slump against him 'I just don't want to be alone. I can't stand to be alone right now.' I softly started crying again and he wrapped an arm around me protectively, pulling me closer.

Sobs wrecked my body until far into the morning. He did not say anything, did not complain. Instead, he held me until at last the sobs lessened, the tears resided and, exhausted, I fell asleep.

* * *

 **AN: Like? Hate? Any thoughts? Let me know in a review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Again, wow guys. Thanks for the massive support! Big thanks to _Brandy_ and _Emmettluver2010_ (reaction to your review at the end) for their reviews! Now, on with the story!**

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Chapter 3.

The next morning, I woke up with red eyes, cracked lips and feeling as if I had not gotten any rest at all that night. That was when I became aware of the arm that was casually draped around my stomach – an arm that was _definitely_ not my own. Tracing the arm up to a shoulder, then up even further to the sleeping face of a certain Jax Teller, last night's events came rushing back to me and I quickly pushed the dismal thoughts away. Instead, I focused on the situation at hand.

I remembered getting back to the clubhouse with Jax, taking a shower and then sitting next to him on the bed. I had cried into his shoulder and he had held me silently. We must have simply fallen asleep at one point.

Reality seemed to support that theory, as Jax was still dressed in his day clothes and was somewhat awkwardly positioned next to me; clearly not a position that one would choose to fall asleep in.

Slowly, as to not awaken him, I snuggled a little closer, relishing the warmth and the general feeling of safety I felt around him. For some strange reason, he was the only one I felt comfortable around. Silently, I wished I would never have to leave that bed anymore.

Soon – sooner than I'd wanted – I felt him shift behind me and a soft moan broke the silence. 'Why does my back hurt so much?'

I allowed myself a small smile at his expense, knowing that he would not be able to see it anyway. 'That might have something to do with how we fell asleep last night… Or well, I guess this morning. Sorry about that.'

A beat passed before he answered. 'How are you feeling?'

'Better.'

'That's good.'

We lay in comfortable silence for a moment and I took this time to take in the room for the first time. It was decorated with simple furniture, no personal items at all and dressed in a sober grey and blue. I turned to him. 'Is this your room?'

'Sometimes... When I can't stand to be home.'

I did not ask him what he meant by that, figuring that if he'd wanted to make his meaning clear, he would have. Suddenly, a thought popped into my mind and I smiled.

'What is it?'

'I have Christmas break.'

Whatever would be waiting for me at school, it would have to wait until after the break.

* * *

For the next two weeks, I studied, cleaned and did grocery shopping during the day, making sure that there was a decent meal on the table whenever Piney would come home from whatever it was he did for the club. Later at night, when the shadows in my room would become too threatening and my negative thoughts would overwhelm me, I would sneak out, send Jax a text and crawl into his bed at the clubhouse. Sometimes he would arrive only minutes after me; sometimes – and more often as of late – he would already be there, saying that he just didn't want to be at home at that moment. He never elaborated.

Tonight was one of those nights again. Tomorrow was my first day of school and, quite honestly, I was scared shitless about going. Despite Jax' consistent urging, I had not told anyone about what happened at the dance, thinking that it would somehow only make things worse. That didn't mean I had forgotten, however, and just thinking about seeing Nate in the hallways was enough to make my heart race and my breath catch. I did not want to face him, did not want to be remembered of what had happened that night. I had told myself that I would stay at home tonight, prove to myself that I could do this, but already I was failing miserably. Ten minutes after getting into bed I had turned on my reading light, twenty minutes more and I was shaking, barely being able to suppress the tears.

Eventually, I got out of bed, threw on a jumper over my pajamas and crept down the stairs. As expected, Piney was still awake, but he paid me no attention as I slipped out the front door.

The outside air hit coldly against my flushed skin and I wrapped my arms around my torso against the chill. I would only take a short walk, empty my head and then I would turn in for the night.

 _That_ had been the plan.

Unconsciously, my feet soon found the way to the Sons' clubhouse and before I full and well realized it, I found myself at its front door. I hesitated a moment, knowing that I had told Jax that I'd sleep at home tonight, but told myself that it really wouldn't matter. If he was not there, I would just go home.

When I pushed open the door, I was surprised to find several people still inside, but I did not bother to talk to any of them. By now, I'm sure they knew who I was and that I would sometimes sleep here. I didn't really care about their opinion about it. Quietly – and keeping my head down, in case I saw anything that I really didn't want to see – I made my way towards the door to Jax' dorm, feeling eyes on me all the way. I was about to put my hand on the doorknob when someone addressed me.

'You've come here for Jax?'

'Yes..' I sighed and turned around, ready to face the stranger that apparently considered whatever I came for his business. Any snarky response that I could have prepared died on my lips, however, as I took in the man before me. He was tall and broad, with dark hair and a matching full beard, and there was something about him that just looked… familiar. I shook my head of my confusing thoughts, focusing back on the matter at hand. 'Is he not here?'

'He is. He's just.. busy.'

A second passed before the meaning of his words dawned on me and I looked away awkwardly. 'Oh..' I knew Jax was a flirt, fucking everything that had two breasts and a vagina, but somehow he'd always managed to keep me separated from that side of his life. That is, up until now. I cleared my throat and tried for a friendly smile. 'Thank you for saving me from that. I'm Eliza, by the way. Piney's niece,' I added, having learned that around the Sons it was often more useful to introduce myself by my uncle than my own name.

The big, friendly giant smiled down at me. 'I know.'

'How so?'

'I'm Opie. Piney's son.'

It suddenly clicked and I realized why he had seemed so familiar. Opie Winston took a lot after his father.

Without another word, he turned away and knocked – more like bounced – on the door of Jax' dorm. 'Jackie boy, you've got company.' He gave me a winning smile before he walked off.

I was just contemplating if I should just announce myself or not when the door swung open and a young woman, not even finished with buttoning up her blouse, strolled by me. Her hair was a mess, her lipstick smeared and I did not even want to think about what had just happened in the dorm. I waited until she'd left through the front door, then quietly made my way into the bedroom and closed the door behind me.

Turning around, I let out a shriek at the sight of Jax Teller, dressed only in his white boxers, stepping out of the bathroom. 'Jax! Fuck, if I wanted to be scarred for life I could have just stayed in the main room.'

He only laughed in response and crossed the distance to his bed. As he passed me, I noticed the Sons of Anarchy logo tattooed on his back for the first time.

Quickly, I threw off the jumper I'd put on, kicked off my shoes and socks and crawled under the cover.

I was asleep in no time.

* * *

The next morning I was startled awake by the sound of my alarm and I reached for my phone, switching it off. With a groan, I let myself fall back into the covers. I knew exactly what day it was. 'Oh, fuck me.'

'Say what now?'

'Not like that. I just… want to be homeschooled.'

'Can't do that, doll. Get dressed, we'll pick up your bag on the way before I drive you to school.'

* * *

Although it didn't change the fact that I still needed to go, it was nice to have Jax by my side as we stopped in front of the large, brick building. He gave me an encouraging smile as I handed him the spare helmet and suppressed the urge to just climb back on the back of the motorcycle.

'You'll be fine, Eliza.' And with that, he was off.

Hoisting my bag over my shoulder, I tried to ignore the stares that followed me all the way to my locker. I tried to reason with myself, telling myself that it was just my own paranoia that was making me see things. But as I looked up, I noticed more than one head turn away and I knew it was not just in my head.

Later, in my History class, when I was attempting with all my might to pay attention to the lecture, a snippet of conversation drifted my way.

'..Fucked with Nate after the dance… _so_ trashy…'

I did not need to hear more to know that it was about me. He had told everyone – and made it even worse than it already was. Raising my hand, I quickly excused myself to the bathroom and all but ran out of the room. Tears were already welling up again and I hated myself for reacting like this. Fuck him. I wiped resolutely at my face, refusing to cry one more tear because of that asshole.

And that was when I saw him. I halted my step, ducked my head and returned the way I came, hoping that he would not see me. But of course, luck was not on my side.  
'Well hello, little Eliza. It's been quite some time, hasn't it?'

I did not respond, instead continued to walk.

'You know,' he grabbed my arm at this, forcing me to stop 'It's not very polite to ignore people.'

'Neither is spreading untrue rumors.'

'Oh that? Well, you can hardly blame me for sharing some details with my friends after such an _amazing_ night.'

'Fuck you.'

'I don't get why you're so upset. I elevated your status by taking you out, then we had some fun.'

'You're fucking crazy.'

'Don't tell me you did not like it, little Eliza. Your eyes were practically begging me for it. Besides, I'm sure you put your new skills immediately to practice when you jumped into bed with that low-life biker scum of yours.'

I don't know if it was his blatant ignorance of my feelings, what he was implying about my relationship with Jax, or the insult that did it, but before I full and well realized it, my fist connected harshly with his nose and I heard a satisfying snap.

As blood started pouring down his face, I knew I'd be suspended.

But it had been _hell_ worth it.

* * *

To my surprise, Piney was not at all angry with me. On the contrary, when I told him the full story – with some more urging from Jax – he told me he was proud of me. It was the world upside down, but I was glad to finally have made some positive impression on him.

I had been suspended, as I'd predicted. Surprisingly (or perhaps not as surprisingly, given that everyone seemed to know my family was part of the Sons of Anarchy), it was only for two weeks, which really was a ridiculously light punishment for someone who had broken a fellow student's nose. I did not complain, however.

In fact, when Piney asked me that night to come to the clubhouse for a party, I surprised both him and myself by agreeing. I changed out of my blood splattered clothes, put my hair in a lazy bun, and we were off.

The party at the clubhouse was a bit more modest than the first – and only other one – I had attended. I waved goodbye to Piney, then went over to the bar and got myself a Coke. With the cold drink in my hand, I turned around to take in the scene. Although it was certainly much less crowded than the last party I'd attended, it was still noisy, wild and crazy. But then again, when wasn't it?

I was halfway to joining my uncle's side when a hand on my arm stopped me 'Hey kid.'

I had to physically suppress a shriek, then forced myself to meet the eyes of _the_ Gemma Morrow. Over the last few weeks, I'd become painfully aware of her calculating eyes following me around the room, especially when I was around or on my way to Jax and it had not taken me long to realize that she did not care much for me. I was just glad that she'd left me alone – up until now, that is.

'I heard what happened,' she spoke, her eyes holding mine in a death grip. 'If you ever need anything, just say the word. We are a family, after all.' Somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered if she was talking about the punch, or about what had preceded it. Gemma Morrow was the kind of woman that seemed to know everything about everyone. Instead of voicing those thoughts, I simply nodded dazedly, her words finally sinking in.

 _We are a family_.

* * *

 **AN: So now in response to the review by Emmettluver2010: I think Gemma would first want to wait it out, see if she could be trusted before she would extend her hand towards her. That's what I've tried to do in this last bit. Gemma has measured her up and (finally) decided that she can be trusted. Or enough at least. I will be busy this weekend so don't expect any updates. The earliest that I can update will be Monday.** **Anyway, let me know what you guys think!**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Hi everyone. Hope you all had a pleasant weekend! I wanted to thank _decadenceofmysoul_ , _Foreverkee_ and _Emmettluver2010_ for their reviews; you guys are wonderful! Now, enjoy the chapter and don't forget to review! (:**

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Chapter 4.

 _One year later_.

I stared down at the grade list in my hand. Another year was over and somehow; I had managed to survive. With some extra credit assignments, I had been able to lift my Chemistry grade from a C to a B and had even managed to make a C from my D in Math. I should have felt proud of myself, should have felt something apart from the overwhelming relief.

Nate had graduated. As much as I thought had he didn't deserve it and had wanted him to fail miserably, the relief I felt at knowing that he could not torment me any longer was much bigger. According to some gossip I had unwillingly picked up, he was moving to Santa Barbara to attend university there. For all I cared he could move to the end of the world.

Of course, the damage to my reputation was already done. I was considered a whore; first for letting myself be fucked against the gym building, then for fucking Jax. No one ever asked for my side of the story.

The buzzing of my phone startled me from my thoughts and I lazily threw the grade list on my desk. Then, I picked up my phone, opening the text message.

 _Are you home_?

 _Yes, why_?

I tapped my fingers against the wood of my desk as I waited. Then, when nothing came, I picked the device back up. _Are you okay?_

 _No_.

It was not long before the loud roar of a motorcycle could be heard and I quickly threw on a sweater before I headed down the stairs. I passed the empty living room and closed the front door behind me.

As expected, Jax stood on our driveway, his motorcycle still running as he handed me the spare helmet.

I wanted to ask him what was wrong, the look on his face only further confirming that something was, but pushed the curiosity down. Instead, I accepted the helmet and sat behind him, only just in time wrapping my arms around him before he pulled off.

I was surprised when we did not follow the usual road to the clubhouse, but instead drove away from the town, before we eventually stopped in front of a black, wrought iron gate.

Again, he said nothing as he turned off his motorcycle and walked through the gate.

Quickly following after him, it took me some effort to catch up with his longer strides, but then we walked side by side in companionable silence. Around us, I noticed stone silhouettes lining the path, illuminated by the light of the half moon.

Eventually, we came to a stop beside one of the stones and, squinting my eyes, I could make out the name on the gravestone. John Thomas Teller. When Jax remained silent, I awkwardly shifted from one foot to the other, wondering what I was supposed to do now. In the past, he had always been the one comforting me. Still, that was some time ago; my angsty teenage hormones had finally calmed down somewhat in the last year and I found that more and more often, we'd get together just to hang out or do fun stuff. Through it all, however, Jax had been my solid rock who, no matter how ugly things got, always made me feel better.

I turned to look at him, studying the familiar features of his face in the moonlight and took in his tensed shoulders, his mouth set.

Digging into the pouch of my sweater, I pulled out my pack of cigarettes and pulled two out. Silently, I handed one to him.

He looked at it somewhat puzzled, then gave me a curious glance. 'When did you start smoking?'

I shrugged non-committally, blowing the smoke into the warm summer night. 'Maybe I've been hanging around with you too much.'

He cracked a smile, but it quickly faded. 'You shouldn't smoke, El; that shit kills, you know.'

I did not respond to his hypocritical advice, nor to the nickname he'd given me a year ago and instead fixed him with a stern look. 'What's going on, Jax?'

He did not speak and continued to smoke his cigarette, staring off into the night. At last, when he'd stubbed the remains of his cigarette, he sighed. 'I told Wendy I want to divorce.'

Of all the things that he could have said, I had not expected this. Sure, I knew Jax and his wife had issues, I knew that when he said that "he couldn't stand to be at home" he really just meant to say that he couldn't stand to be around Wendy, but I had never thought it was that serious. All couples argued, right? 'Why?'

'I can't be with her when she's shooting that shit into her body. She's fucking destroying herself and she doesn't care. I told her I just can't do it anymore; I'm done with it.'

I comfortingly squeezed his hand with my mine, staring down at our intertwined fingers as I tried to think of something to say. In all honesty, I couldn't imagine how difficult it must be to see someone you love slowly kill themselves with drugs; what it must be like to stand by and know that there's nothing you can do. But when I glanced up at his face, remembering all that we'd seen and been through together, I knew that if I were ever to lose Jax, I would never be able to be that strong. Even though we were only friends, I knew that it would kill me.

I squeezed his hand a little tighter. 'You did the right thing, Jax. I know it doesn't feel like it, but staying in such a relationship doesn't help either of you; you'll only drag each other down in your misery.'

He looked out in the summer night for a moment, then raised his eyebrows at me. 'When did you get so smart, you little brat?'

'What will happen now?'

He sighed, his blue eyes losing their twinkle once more. 'Wendy said she's going into rehab.'

'And with you?'

'Well, I have you and the club, don't I? I'm guessing I won't have a moment's rest now that you know that you can camp in my dorm room the entire summer long.'

I gave him a playful shove, but my lips quirked into a smile nonetheless. 'And don't you forget it.'

* * *

 _Another year later_.

'Ah, come on, El. We have to celebrate your graduation, don't we?'

'Don't pretend that you are planning to get dead drunk because of me, Teller.'

'I won't leave you alone.'

'That's what you said last time, when I ended up playing poker with Chibs and Tig for half of the night until you were done fucking one of the croweaters.' I made it a point to glare at him, then took another drag from my cigarette and blew the smoke out into the air. Beneath our feet, I could see some of the guys working on a silver sedan and I smiled as Happy honked just as Tig had his head down the hood, making the latter yell out a string of obscenities before he threw a wrench at the younger guy's head.

Only a few hours ago, I had officially graduated from high school. To my surprise, not just Piney and Jax, but most of the Sons had been present at the ceromony and I had been oddly touched by their presence. When the last people had finally received their diplomas, we had not stayed for the drinks and socializing. Jax and I had followed the others to the clubhouse and I did not even change out of my white summer dress before we climbed to Jax' favorite spot on the roof.

'I promise to stay by your side this time.'

'Yeah, right.'

'Come on.'

'No.'

'Please?'

'No.'

'For me?'

'Fuck you, Teller.'

* * *

I arrived casually late at the clubhouse that night. Dressed in a black, snuggly fitted lace dress, combined with my new favorite pin up heels, I felt strangely sexy and somehow – even more strangely – not in the least bothered by that fact. Although I had turned 18 two months ago and had, since then, become fair game, I knew Jax would keep any unwanted hands away from me. It was one of the nice perks that came with being friends with the vice president of a notorious motorcycle club.

As I walked inside, I put my extra three inches to good use and scanned the crowd (for once being able to see over other people's shoulders) completely unbothered by the now familiar sight of half-naked women on stripper poles and in men's laps. When I did not immediately find the telltale shaggy blond locks, I shrugged and made my way to the bar.

Before I had made it there, two big, strong arms wrapped around my waist and I was lifted into the air. When at last my feet met solid ground again, I turned around with a smile. 'Hello to you too, Opie.'

'Congratulations, little cousin. That makes one in the family with a diploma.'

'Congratulations, Eliza!'

I smiled warmly at her. In the last year, I had really come to like Donna Winston. Although she was not always a big fan of the club, she was friendly and sweet and as good as they come, and whenever I'd be in need of some woman-to-woman talk, Donna had been more than ready to listen to me. 'Thank you, Donna.'

The couple soon left and I continued my way to the bar. The prospect manning it knew better than to question my age when I asked for a beer and I sat myself comfortably on one of the bar stools. Crossing one bare leg over the other, I settled myself to wait for a certain Mr. Jackson Teller.

* * *

Two hours and five beers later and I was slowly getting quite irritated. The whole damn reason I had come was because of Jax and now the man in question was nowhere to be found. In his stead, I had had to deal with several incredibly disgusting men myself, eventually opting for moving outside if only so I would not have to deal with them anymore. And so I had taken my sixth (or seventh, I wasn't really sure anymore) beer and had wobbled my way to an empty picnic table. I gracelessly dropped myself on its surface and pulled my cigarette pack from inside my clutch. My fingers were already feeling around for about a minute when I finally realized it was empty. 'Oh fuck it.'

'Are you all right, love?'

I looked up to find a thirty-something year old man standing next to my table. I did not recognize him and I assumed he was part of the visiting charter. He was dark haired, quite cute and, most importantly, holding a cigarette pack in his left hand. Unconsciously, I smiled. 'Quite so, thank you. Would you like to sit down?'

He looked taken aback by my forwardness, but honestly I just didn't care. I really needed a smoke. 'You come here often, love?'

'Sometimes,' I looked sideways at him, finding him already looking at me. 'When I think it will be worth my time.'

'If I'd known I'd find a beauty like you here, I'd have visited much sooner.' He smiled flirtatiously at me, then seemingly remembered the pack in his hands. 'You mind if I light one up?'

When I shook my head, he put one of his cigarettes between his lips and, with a black lighter that I noticed had two red playing cards etched into the side, lid up his cigarette.

I waited until he'd taken the first drag, then boldly stole the cigarette from his mouth. Taken a deep drag, I let the smoke roll around in my lungs before I slowly exhaled, feeling my muscles relax as the nicotine entered my body. This was just what I needed.

'Get the fuck away from her!'

I looked up, quite amused to find Jax there, a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand, annoyedly glaring at the man sitting next to me.

'Whoops,' I said, sliding off the table. 'Gotta go.' I linked my arm with Jax', dragging him away from my new acquaintance.

'What the hell were you doing?'

I couldn't help but smile cheekily at him as I blew out some smoke 'Stealing a cigarette. Where were _you_? I waited hours!'

'I know, El, I'm sorry. Clay sent me out for a job; I couldn't say no.'

Sympathetically – and quite drunkenly, I patted his arm, then flashed him another smile. 'You go the roof, I'll be there in a sec.'

* * *

'Oh my God, look at the moon! It's so full and round and beautiful and just.. Are you going to turn into a werewolf now?'

Jax laughed and I couldn't help but giggle along at the sound. 'You're fucking pissed, you know that?' He looked at the neatly lined up empty beer bottles and two bottles of whiskey, my black pumps standing forlornly next to them. 'How much did you drink tonight, anyway?'

I furrowed my brows as I tried to recount the evening, but my thoughts were a jumbled mess and one beer flowed over into another. 'Three? Four, maybe? _Definitely_ not more than six!' I cracked up, turning to look at him as he lay beside me, and gave him a playful push. 'You have a bad influence on me, Mister! Before I met you, I was a completely respectable, proper young girl. And now.. now I'm stealing cigarettes off of unsuspecting males!'

'I still can't believe you did that, El. Fuck, if I'd known that was what you were up to, I'd have let you steal a second one for me.'

I leaned my elbow on his chest, propping my head up so I could look at him without seeing double. 'And what would I get from that?'

'What would you want?' His voice was low, husky and I didn't register how close we suddenly were until his lips crashed onto mine.

All remaining sense of sanity was lost soon after.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Hi everyone! Big thanks to _Emmettluver2010_ , _decadenceofmysoul_ and _Gues_ _t_ for their reviews! This chapter is a little shorter than usual; sorry about that. Also, just... sorry in advance. Enjoy the chapter!**

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Chapter 5.

I awoke to the sensation of sunlight warming my face and turning the inside my eyelids orange – and a head-splitting headache and muscle aches anywhere between my neck and upper legs. I groaned loudly, turning my face a little to shield it from the light and groping around for the blankets. Although I had tried my ignore the unexplainable sensations in my body so far, I could not suppress the feeling that something was seriously wrong any longer when my hands met only bare skin and soft, worn leather.

A part of me wanted to keep my eyes closed; foolishly thinking that as long as I did, none of this would be real. I sighed heavily, knowing that it would do me little good, and I cracked one eye lid open.

Immediately, I wished I had listened to the voice; wished that I would have remained blissfully ignorant for at least a little while longer.

As quiet as I could, careful not to wake Jax as I did, I moved backwards. As I put some distance between our naked bodies, I was careful to keep myself covered with his leather jacket – and to keep my eyes off of his _private_ regions. A blush crept up my cheeks as I puzzled together what must have happened last night and as I took in the empty alcohol bottles and our hastily discarded clothing, pieces of a drunken night came flitting back to me. My blush deepened; not only knowing that we had done those things but actually _remembering_ them. How his hands had left a burning trail behind wherever they'd touched me, how his lips had felt moving against mine, how his body had felt pressed up against mine in the most intimate way…

Signs of life next to me made me look up and I pulled the jacket around me a little tighter. I waited for him to stretch his arms, hearing the familiar pop of his shoulders, and finally open his eyes lazily.

He gazed across the roof curiously, then his eyes landed on me and nearly doubled in size. For a moment he said nothing and I figured he was replaying the night – or at least the parts that he remembered – in his head as well, then at last he put a hand through his hair. 'Shit El, I.. fuck.. I don't even know what to say.'

'Jax..'

'Sorry makes me sound even more like a dick, but..-'

'Jax!'

'I am, El. I never wanted to..-'

'God damn it, Teller, will you just shut up for a moment and listen? I'm not mad, okay? We both got shitfaced drunk, we had sex.. that shit happens, you know? It doesn't change anything; it's no big deal.'

'Yeah, but.. Oh shit.'

'Now what?'

'You were a vir..-'

'No. Big. Deal, Teller.'

* * *

When I'd said those words to him, I had honestly meant them. Although perhaps not romantic and thoughtful, I was glad that it had been Jax. At least he cared about me and I had done it with no unrealistic expectations of love or a relationship.

But, despite having meant them at the time, as the weeks went by I found that something _had_ changed. Somehow, after having been so intimately connected to him, I could not help but look at him – really look at him – and it was as if I saw Jackson Teller for the first time. Sure, I had always known that he was good looking. But now, I saw something more. And I found myself immensely attracted to him.

I found myself drawn in by his lazy smiles, his careless touches and suddenly I craved to touch _him_. I wanted to let my hands wander through those blond locks, wanted to explore his skin with my hands, wanted to feel his lips on mine..

I was confused about where these sudden urges came from, did not understand why suddenly I craved his presence so differently. But after experiencing him in so intimate a way, friendly touches hardly seemed enough.

I was being stupid and I knew it. Jax and I were friends, good friends, and there was no sense in ruining something good. Even if it was for the sake of something better. Furthermore, I argued with myself, I did not like him in that way. This was just my body developing sexual urges; it had nothing to do with him.

I looked down at his still sleeping form, softly tracing the outlines of the reaper tattoo with my index finger. He had come back from a run last night, dead tired and with stains on his clothes that I did not even want to know the origin of. He had quickly reassured me that he was fine, had taken a shower and then we'd climbed in his dorm bed together. I would never admit to him how worried I'd been for the last five days, that I'd hardly slept at all without him there. Instead, I'd wrapped my arms around his waist a little tighter than usual, sighing in contentment at having him close to me once again.

At the first signs of stirring, I let my hand drop to the matrass and closed my eyes. In the next seconds, I listened to the telltale sounds of Jax's morning groans, the pop of his shoulder as he stretched and then finally a moan indicating the seriousness of his hangover. By the sounds of it, he must have entertained quite a few glasses of alcohol before joining me in the dorm room.

Shifting beside me, then the sound of two bare feet hitting the ground could be heard. Still, I did not fully register what was happening until I felt the blanket being pulled up to cover my torso completely and a small kiss was placed on the top of my head. My eyes snapped open – too fast for actually having been asleep – and quickly found their target, who was currently in the process of putting on a pair of socks.

'Jax?'

He looked up, one white sock still in his hand. 'I'm sorry, I did not meant to wake you, El.'

I shrugged, turning on my side to look at him going through his morning routine, thinking that even doing just that, he looked absolutely beautiful to me. 'Where are you going?'

He looked hesitant for a moment, almost as if he was debating whether or not to tell me the truth. 'I promised Wendy I'd stop by.'

'Wendy?'

'Yes, you kn..-'

'The Wendy you dumped a year ago? The Wendy that went into rehab?'

'Yes, well, she's out now and she asked to meet up.'

I did not understand the sudden sinking feeling that came over me – and so I merely nodded.

* * *

 _Won't make it to the clubhouse tonight, got other plans. Have fun. Don't get too drunk without me_.

I stared down at my phone, then abruptly switched the device off and threw it on my desk. It was the third time he'd called off in little under two weeks. Of course it was not fair of me to see it in that way – after all; he was under no obligation to spend his free time with me – but in between work at the garage, club business and his renewed interest in Wendy, we barely saw each other anymore. It shouldn't have hurt the way it did, but then again things never went as they should. Life had a funny way of working out like that.

* * *

The summer holiday had almost come to an end and, in a way, I was almost glad that it had. I had spent some time trying to pluck weeds in Piney's garden – a task which I'd eventually given up on because it was insurmountable – and had on a couple of occasions helped Donna out with the kids, taking them out to the playground or just for a walk so she had some time for herself. Besides that, I spent a few hours every week helping Gemma with some administrative work. All in all I kept myself busy and, at least until I would be back alone in bed at night, kept my mind off of Jax.

Two weeks ago I had received a text from him, whether I was home because he needed to talk to me. At the time, I'd not thought much of it, simply glad that I would finally see him again. A few minutes later, he'd come to pick me up and drove us to the graveyard. A flashback of our last time there came over me as we walked down the path to John Teller's gravestone, and it caused me to hope (a very, very selfish hope) that maybe he and Wendy had broken up again. Nothing could have been less true.

'El, I.. It's still a bit premature and I haven't really talked about it with anyone else, but I just needed to tell someone.. tell you. Wendy is pregnant.'

I had not known how to respond and for a good long minute, I did not. Something had broken inside of me, something that I did not know existed had died and now I could do nothing but hold on to the pieces. In my silence, he'd continued.

'It wasn't planned, you know. I mean, Wendy and I are only just reconciling and I am not even sure about us. But yeah, I just wanted you to know.'

My mind had barely registered a word that he'd said, stuck on those three words that had damned it all to hell.

'El? Eliza, say something.'

'Congratulations.'

We had not spoken ever since. I had pretended to be too busy with helping Gemma, or with gardening, or just made up random excuses why I would not be at the clubhouse whenever he was there. With the information that I now had, I just could not deal with seeming him, seeing them. It was as if every time I was reminded of it, a stake went through my heart, burrying itself deeper and deeper into the tissue. It was all I could do to just keep on going, try to keep it all together. I could not bear the pain of actually seeing them.

The sound of the doorbell rang through the empty house and I reluctantly put down the clothes that I had been folding. Trudging down the stairs, I only now noticed that night had already fallen outside the living room window. With a sigh, I opened the front door.

And immediately wished I hadn't.

'El. I've been trying to reach you all day.'

'My phone's dead.'

'Gemma told me today that you are leaving for college. Why didn't you tell me?'

I shrugged, looking anywhere but at his face, knowing that I would break down if I did. 'I was just busy with some stuff, must have slipped my mind.'

'I thought you said you didn't want to go to college?'

'I said I wasn't smart enough; not that I didn't want to.'

'What changed?'

'Nothing.. I just.. I don't want to be stuck here forever. I just need to be away from this place for a while.'

'Away from Charming or away from me?'

I wasn't prepared for that question and tears sprang in my eyes, realizing just how fucked up everything had gotten lately. 'I don't know.. I just need some time and space to clear my head.'

'Clear it of what? Fuck, Eliza, I don't even know what we're talking about anymore. What's going on? Did I do something wrong?'

An image of Jax and Wendy together at the clubhouse flashed in front of my mind's eye and I swallowed, tears that I refused to cry in front of him burning in my eyes. 'Just go, Jackson.'

Without giving him a chance to protest, I closed the door in his face.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Hello guys and welcome back! Before I start I just wanted to clear something up that might have confused you. Eliza was not angry at the end of chapter 5. I pictured her saying it more in a defeated sort of way, but I guess that wasn't completely clear for you all. Sorry about that! Furthermore, I know I stated in chapter 1 that this story would be 20 chapters at the most; I think you should count on a bit less. Perhaps more around 10 or so? Anyways, fanfiction is acting out on my laptop (site won't open) so I had to do all the editing on my phone. Sorry if I left in any mistakes! Big thanks to _Brandy, Guest, lagoon child, decaddnceofmysoul_ and _Lizzie_ for reviewing! On with the story!**

* * *

Chapter 6.

'Hey,' I spoke softly, my voice shaking.

 _'Eliza, is that you?'_

'Yeah Donna, it's me,' I smiled at hearing her voice. It had been a week since I'd started college, a week since I'd left Charming behind, and I already missed it dearly.

 _'It's great to hear from you! How are you? How's college? Made any friends yet?'_

I laughed at her enthusiasm and leaned on the bathroom sink. 'I've missed you too, Donna.' I contemplated how to answer her next question. In all honesty, I was a mess. Part of me wanted to just run back to Charming and on top of that, even after just a few day I felt I was already falling behind in all of my classes. Although my grades in high school had never been exceptional, I'd never felt this stupid. On top of that, the city people here hardly spared me a glance – even less so after they found out how stupid I was – and my roommate was an alcoholic. I looked at myself in the mirror; red blotched cheeks, bloodshot eyes, my hair a total mess. 'I'm good; it's good. The people are really friendly and my roommate's pretty chill. But how are you, Opie and the kids, Donna? I feel like I haven't talked to you in ages!'

 _'That's because you haven't, love; you were quite busy your last few weeks in Charming.'_ I caught the obvious accusation in her voice. _'But me and the kids are fine. Same old, same old you know.'_

'And Ope?'

 _'Oh you know him; as long as he can ride around on his bike he's happy.'_

I laughed at that. Despite us never actually having become very close, I liked my cousin. He was straightforward, completely honest and behind the tough exterior, had a heart of gold. 'That's good to know. And the others?'

 _'Well, Piney's not saying much, as usual I suppose, but I'm sure he misses the few decent meals a week he used to get. Eliza..'_ There was a pregnant pause. _'Jax is a mess.'_

My mouth went dry at the mention of his name and I did not know what to say. Luckily, Donna did not expect anything.

 _'He's moved back into his dorm room. Apparently he told Opie that he could not deal with the idea of becoming a father anymore. Opie said he barely sleeps, is barely sober.. I'm guessing you leaving hasn't really helped either.'_

'I can't come back, Donna.'

She sighed _'I know, love.'_ In the background, I heard the sound of children screaming and Donna groaned. _'I've got to go, or they might kill each other. Keep me updated, okay?'_

'I will. Love you, Donna.'

 _'I love you too, dear Eliza, never forget that.'_ Then she was gone.

I looked down at the display, noticing lunch break was almost over. I slipped my phone back into my pocket, wiped the last mascara stains off of my cheeks and, after taking a deep intake of breath, left the public bathroom. And immediately collided with something hard.

'Gosh, I am so sorry!' Two hands shot out to stabilize me and I looked up. His face was friendly, more cute than handsome, his brown hair neatly parted and his smile concerned. 'I did not hurt you, did I?'

My head was slow in registering his words. Then, when I finally realized he'd asked me a question, I shook my head. 'No, I'm fine. Sorry for bumping into you like that.'

His smile widened 'I wasn't watching where I was going. But hey, let me make it up to you. I know there's this really good sushi bar just off campus. It's on me.'

His smile was infectious and before I realized what I was doing, I had already agreed.

* * *

Later that night, I found myself in a cozy, toko-style sushi bar with crossed legs on a fluffed, red pillow. We had just ordered drinks and Charlie – which I'd just found out was his name – was telling me how he'd discovered this place two weeks before when he was moving his stuff. All in all, I'd had worse nights.

As the waitress came back with our drinks, we were silent for a moment and he took a quick sip of his Sprite. 'So, how are you liking college so far?'

'Oh you know it's.. it's pretty fucked up.' I watched him flinch at my language, and mentally scolded myself for being so unmannerly. That kind of language might be accepted, even normal, at the clubhouse, but I was at college now. 'Sorry.'

He smiled 'You were saying?'

'Well,' I sighed, looking down at the table top 'I feel like I'm always one step behind in all of my classes, you know? It's like no matter how hard I try, I'll never be smart enough.'

His hand came to lie on my left one and gave it a soft squeeze. 'Don't think like that; you're not stupid. You know, we're in Philosophy together.'

My cheeks flared up, realizing that he must have been witness to the humiliation that had led to my latest meltdown in the public bathroom that morning. 'Great..'

'No! I just wanted to say that I don't think your answer to his question was wrong per se.. it's just not what he was looking for. You just need to figure out what they want to hear, you know? I think your answer was actually quite smart.'

A warmth spread from his hand, radiating through my arm and spreading through the rest of my body. No one had ever told me I was smart.

* * *

We agreed to have dinner at another restaurant in town next Friday. In the meanwhile, we frequently had lunch together or simply went to get coffee after class. I found that I felt good around Charlie, that he made we want to be a better version of myself if only to not let him down.

He told me he came from a middle class family, that his father had been in the military and his mother was a primary school teacher. He was the second of four children and with an older brother already having started his own business, he had a lot to live up to. In turn, I told him that I'd lived with my mother, until after her death I moved in with my uncle. I did not tell him about the Sons and I did not tell him about Jax. Instead, I merely told him that Piney (at which he'd laughed and said that "surely that was not a real name") was part of a motor club. Although he had never actually said so, something in his face told me that he did not quite like the idea of that, and I didn't bring it up again.

'You should try the grilled cuttlefish, it's really good.'

I shook my head absentmindedly, still peering down at the menu. 'I don't eat that shit.' I noticed his lips purse at my language and scolded myself for letting forgeting. 'The idea of eating squid does not sit well with me.'

'But you haven't tried it before, how do you know that you don't want to eat it? I'm certain you like it, if you get over the initial idea.'

I did not respond, instead settled on the salmon and closed my menu. When I took a sip of my wine – Charlie had given me that specific look when I'd ordered a beer, so I had quickly changed it to red wine – a waiter stopped at our table. I was still forcing the bitter liquid down my throat when Charlie spoke.

'I'll have the seared scallops and the lady will have the cuttlefish, please.'

I almost spew out the red wine, but by the time I'd finally managed to swallow, the waiter was already gone. Instead, I turned to Charlie with an irritated look. 'I said I didn't want the god damn squid!'

'Language!' He looked around embarrassed 'Now will you calm down, you are behaving like a mad woman. I just figured you should try it, there's no harm in widening your horizons a bit. Besides, you'll like it, I'm sure.'

I threw my napkin down on the table, a show of passive aggression, and excused myself through gritted teeth. Then, I stalked to the bathroom. For a moment, all I could do was stare at my angry expression, but then I sighed and leaned my head against the cold stone of the wall. He had only been trying to be nice and here I was, blowing up on him and making a scene that was clearly embarrassing him.

I quickly fixed my hair, then quietly made my way back to the table. As I sat down, I let out a deep sigh. 'I'm sorry, Charlie.'

'I was only trying to be friendly.'

'I know.. I should not have overreacted like that.'

He nodded, but had no time to respond before our waiter returned with two dishes. As he set one down in front of me, I tried my best not to let the initial distaste show on my face. Instead I picked up my cutlery and cut off a small piece. Hesitantly, I brought it to my mouth. And to my surprise, I found that he'd been right. 'It's really good!'

'Told you,' he smiled, then started on his own dish.

And as the night wore on and we ate, drank and talked, I found myself quite satisfied and, at least for a few hours, Jax did not cross my mind once.

* * *

That was almost four months ago and by now, almost just as long as we'd officially been in a relationship. It had not always been easy, combining a full course load and a love life, but we had somehow made it work – even if that more than once meant that we had to spend our time together studying.

Now, the last exams of the calendar year were finally over and Christmas break was coming up. A couple of days ago, Charlie had asked me to go home with him for Christmas to meet his family and, honestly, I had not known what to say. Despite the seriousness of our relationship, I'd never really thought about having to meet his parents – or for that matter, anyone that mattered to him. The only romantic experience I'd had was with Nate and that one drunken night with Jax – and we all know how those two pursuits ended. In the end, when seeing his face fall at my silence, I'd quickly agreed.

It was decided that we would leave tomorrow morning, so that we would be at his house two days before Christmas in hopes of being ahead of traffic. Charlie was helping me with packing my clothes – jokingly saying that he did not trust me to pick appropriate clothing – when my phone rang.

Looking down at the display, I saw it was Donna and I gave Charlie an apologetic look 'I've got to take this, sorry.' Then I pushed the green button. 'Hi Donna!'

 _'Close, but no cigar! I didnt have your number so she borrowed me hers._ '

I laughed at the sound of his voice, remembering just how long it was since I'd heard from him – or from anyone in Charming for that matter. The last months had been so hectic! 'Opie, it's so good to hear from you! What's the occasion?'

 _'Can't I just be missing my dear little cousin?'_

'You? I don't think so. Come on, spit it out!'

He laughed, the sound so loud that I had to hold the phone away from my ear for a moment. 'Always knew you were the smarter one in the family. In any case, Gemma is hosting a Christmas dinner party and she asked me to invite you.'

'Oh Ope, I..' I bit my lip 'I can't, I'm sorry.' And I was. I missed all of them dearly. It would have been nice to see them all for a bit. 'I have.. I have other plans.'

 _'That's okay, Eliza. Maybe you can come over for New Year's Eve? You know the New Year's parties at the clubhouse get pretty wild.'_

'That's an understatement!' I laughed, then looked at Charlie, who had stopped rummaging through my closet and was giving me a curious look. I knew he'd planned to spend both Christmas and New Year at his parents' house, but maybe he wouldn't mind if I left early? 'I'll let you know, okay?'

 _'Sure thing, little cousin.'_

'I got to go now, though. Bye Ope.'

 _'Bye Eliza.'_

'Who was that?'

'That was Opie, my cousin.'

Charlie pulled up one of his eyebrows 'The son of your motor club uncle?'

'The very same. He's actually also part of the club.'

He nodded, but did not respond to that tidbit of news. 'What did he call you for?'

'He called to invite me to a Christmas dinner of.. a friend's mom.' I swallowed, ignoring the sting that was still present whenever I thought of Jax.

'And you told him?'

'Jeez, is this 21 questions?' I laughed, but at his serious face quickly sobered up. 'I told him I had other plans. Then he asked if I wanted to come over for New Year's Eve. I told him I would think about it.'

'We were going to spend New Year's Eve at my parents' house, remember?'

'I know. I just thought that maybe we could leave a little early or something?'

Charlie wore that specific face that told me that he did not agree, but said nothing. Instead, he turned his back to me and returned to selecting clothes.

I heaved a sigh, knowing that I would have to call Opie back sooner or later with my negative answer.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Hello guys! Hope you all had a great weekend! I want to thank _decadenceofmysoul_ (I noticed in last chapter, I made a typing mistake in your name; sorry about that) _, Stark-ingMad, emmalock93, Mrs. Marie Woods-Winchester_ and _Markay81_ for their sweet reviews. Enjoy the chapter!**

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Chapter 7.

We were going to leave at noon, then make the two hour drive to Charlie's hometown unhurriedly, where we – even in the small chance that we would get stuck in traffic – would arrive before three o'clock in the afternoon. _That_ was the plan.

I was ready at twelve o'clock sharp, knowing how Charlie hated it if I was late. I had a small suitcase neatly packed – filled with dresses and other clothing that he had approved for this trip – standing next to me, my wallet and phone put into the black lacquer clutch I'd bought to complement my black and white striped pencil skirt dress. I was wearing sensible black shoes, the two inch heels doing more for my ass than for my short length – or so I was told.

Five past twelve soon came and went by and I considered going to wait back inside where it was warm and I could sit. Charlie had, however, told me to wait outside for him and I didn't want him to come and find me not here. We were late as it was.

I tapped the tip of my left shoe on the pavement as I watched another car take off of the curb. Most of the students were leaving for the holidays and for a moment I imagined how wonderful it must be to have some time for yourself. I hadn't asked my roommate if she had any plans for the holidays, but I expected she did not. The girl appeared to be as alone as I felt sometimes.

At last, when I was just about to put the suitcase down and drop myself on top of it )something which I should have done 15 minutes ago), a familiar grey car pulled up the curb.

Charlie stepped out without saying a word, took my suitcase from me and loaded it into the trunk. It was only then that he looked at me. And frowned. 'Why are you not wearing the purple dress?'

Because you packed it into my suitcase to wear on Christmas Eve, a voice in my head answered smartly. Instead, I shrugged my shoulders. 'Do you not like this one?'

'Oh it's nice.. it's just, you know, it's a little gaudy don't you think? Don't you have something else to wear?'

* * *

Thirty-five minutes later and we were finally pulling off of the campus parking lot. We'd gone back up to my room and he'd ransacked what was left of my clothing. Eventually Charlie had settled on a knit, burgundy sweater dress which I had not worn for at least three years because it made me look, well.. 15 years-old. I'd put it on without a complaint, though, knowing he was already on edge because of the time wasted.

We spoke little during the car ride and I entertained myself by mentally singing along with the Christmas carols that were played non-stop on the radio. We were about an hour on our way when the car broke down.

At first, I thought we'd simply run out of gas – which was no big deal, as we'd just passed a sign announcing a gas station only one and a half mile ahead. 'Well there goes our tight schedule,' I laughed, hoping to relieve the tension that had been building ever since we'd left campus.

'This is no laughing matter! First we can't leave because you dressed like a fucking prostitute, now this. I told my parents we'd be there at three!' He pulled at his hair in agitation.

I bit my lip at the insult, looking away so he would not see the hurt look on my face. He had not meant it, I tried to soothe myself, he was just upset with being late. I swallowed past the lump in my throat. 'I can take a look under the hood, see what the problem is?'

'I'll call roadside assistance, let them take care of it.'

'Charlie, honestly, I've been hanging out in a car and motorcycle repair shop for 3 years. I can just look and..-'

'I said no, Eliza!'

Later that afternoon, as we were waiting for his older brother to pick us up at the repair shop, Charlie had apologized to me. He had been stressed and annoyed at being late and of course, I forgave him. He had not meant to hurt me, after all.

* * *

When we finally arrived at the house, it was well past six and night had already fallen. I was hungry and cold, my feet ached from wearing heels for so long and I felt an overwhelming urge to just curl up in a ball and bawl my eyes out. Nevertheless, when it finally came to meeting Charlie's parents, I put up a good front.

I smiled politely as I shook the hand of Mary Hall, who was the epitome of the perfect housewife. She had her hair pulled into a neat bun and wore an apron over her classic blue dress. The man standing stiffly next to her, who I correctly assumed was William Hall, simply gave me a tight nod. I soon also met the remainder of the family: two girls, the older of which (who was about my age) had a rounding belly, who introduced themselves as Charlie's sisters. We had dinner together and afterwards retreated to the living area, where Charlie spent the remainder of the evening catching up. I merely sat and listened, grateful when he finally decided to retreat for the night.

* * *

The following days were spent in a fashion that soon became a routine and, within days, I knew what was expected of me. In the morning, I would go downstairs – dressed and perfectly presentable – where I would help Mary with setting the table and making breakfast. Then, I would go back upstairs to fetch Charlie and we'd sit down at the table together. I would sit quietly and nibble on my piece of toast, ignoring the constant buzz of talking around me. Afterwards, I'd help clear the table and then I could go and brush my teeth.

The hours following that would be a bit less predictable, for my activities mainly dependent on what needed to be done in or around the house. On one day, I accompanied the other females to the small Christmas market in town, were we bought a tree and some decorations. On another, we went shopping for Christmas dinner. No matter what I ended up doing, however, it was always with the women of the house. And so come that by the time Christmas came around, Charlie and I had hardly talked to each other for four days. Surely, we saw each other at breakfast, then again at dinner and later in the living room and in bed, but we never really talked.

I'd quickly learned that although I was supposed to be there and look presentable and proper, I was not really required to talk. In fact, it was an unspoken rule that, as a female, I did not. Dinner was therefore a silent affair for me, at which I would try to pay attention to the conversation around me – and not embarrass Charlie by not knowing how to respond in the unlikely case that someone would ask me something – but I found it increasingly hard to do so.

Later, in the sitting room, I would listen half-heartedly to the conversation the women were having, nodding and humming when proper etiquette required me to, but otherwise remained silent. One thing that struck me was that the obvious pregnancy of Penny was never mentioned and it occurred to me that, under its perfect façade, this family must have its problems, too.

After several endless hours spent in the sitting room, Charlie would deem it an appropriate time to go upstairs where we'd have passionless sex and then he'd fall asleep, leaving me to ponder my life.

Despite everything that had happened – my Mom dying, then having to move in with Piney, going to a new school – I had somehow always managed to keep a positive outlook on life. I had been sad, alone and maybe a little frightened, but somehow I'd always managed to soldier on. Whatever life had thrown at me, my teenage self had never allowed it to bring me down completely.

So why was it that I was suddenly feeling so empty? I'd been alone, truly alone with not a soul in the world really caring about what happened to me, yet I'd never felt more alone than I did at that moment. Being at Charlie's house made me feel like my life was already over before I had even had the chance to live it. I wanted to do good by him, wanted to be what he wanted me to be, but increasingly found that perhaps it was not what _I_ wanted to be. I did not want to become the next Mrs. Hall, I did not want to stuck in the house for the rest of my life, bearing children for a man that did not care for me apart from my cooking skills.

But that begged the question, what _did_ I want?

* * *

Christmas day passed by quite like the previous days had; quietly, with very much manual and very little mental effort put in going about my day. It was therefore that I was taken off guard when Ben, Charlie's older brother, asked me a question.

'Excuse me?' I asked, trying to sound as I had not correctly heard him, instead of as if I had not been paying attention.

'I said that my brother told me you are from Charming?'

I swallowed a piece of chicken. 'I actually grew up in Lodi, but I moved to Charming when I was 15 when… well, due to circumstances.'

He nodded 'I don't know if Charlie told you, but I have a company dealing in hardware electronics. We've been thinking of putting up a shop in Charming but well, I suppose coming from Charming you know that the Sons of Anarchy can be a bit of a off-putting factor for any company wanting to set up business there. Tell me, are they really as bad as my sources say?'

'Sons of Anarchy?' Charlie asked, before I even had the chance to respond to the original question.

'It's a motor club,' I explained shortly.

'More like a gang,' Ben put in. 'I've heard several of its members have been caught in gun trafficking and most have served jail time for one thing or another.'

'I see,' Charlie said softly, though the looks he was sending me told me that I was far from off the hook.

Later that night, we retired to Charlie's bedroom a little earlier than normal. For a few moments, he said nothing and I grabbed a pajama and my toiletries, pretending I did not feel the pressure that had been building in the room. Eventually, when I had almost made it to the door to the private bathroom, he exploded.

'A motor gang?!'

I turned around, carefully schooling my features into an expression of innocence, hoping that it would somehow calm him down. 'What about it, Charlie?'

'Your family is part of a motor gang and you did not think it was important to tell me?'

I shrugged and repressed the urge to take a step back as he started shouting. 'I did not think it mattered.'

'Not think it..' He huffed 'You did not think it was important that you're involved with gun traffickers and the like?'

'I'm not involved with anything,' I attempted to reason calmly, but I noticed that I was quickly losing my patience as well. 'Look, I really don't see how this changes anything, Charlie. Now, if you don't mind, I've had a long day and I really just want to take a shower.' I turned to leave, but he grabbed me by my arm and pulled me back.

The force of his pull, combined with my surprise of being physically handled caused me to lose my balance and before I well knew it, I was crashing down.

Into the heavy wooden night stand that sat at the side of the door.

A second passed in which everything wentblack, then the world came back into view just in time to see Charlie rushing to my side. Before he could say anything – much less put another hand on me – I snatched up my fallen toiletries and rushed into the bathroom, carefully locking the door behind me. I turned on the shower, balling my fists at his pleas to come out, later having to choke back the sobs as his pleas turned into sincere sounding apologies.

I remained under the shower until it had become silent on the other side of the bathroom door, then dressed back into my clothes. I brushed my hair leisurely, each stroke deliberate as I tried to look anywhere but at the welt that was forming against my hairline. I left my hair down for once, allowing it to obscure the ugly mark from view as I finally returned the brush to my toiletry bag. Then, after listening at the door once more, I took a deep breath and went back into the bedroom.

In a way, I was not surprised to not find Charlie there. I knew how he hated to sit by and do nothing, so surely he was out somewhere venting his displeasure with me.

However, not having him in my line of sight put me on edge. After scanning the room – and concluding that he really was not here – I pulled my suitcase from underneath the bed and quickly repacked my things. When everything was put away, I made my way down the stairs.

'What are you doing?'

I was not prepared for him to suddenly stand before me, but for once I did not back down and looked him squarely in the eye. 'Leaving.'

'You're not seriously leaving in the middle of the night because of some stupid accident, are you?'

'No. I am because I should have left much sooner.'

'Come on, Eliza, listen, I..-'

'I have listened. In fact, I've done enough listening to last me a lifetime. And you know what, I find that I don't really care for what you have to say.' I turned to leave, then turned back to the rest of the family that watched the spectacle with morbid curiosity. 'I thank you all for your hospitality; I will see myself out. Good night.' And with those words, I stepped out the front door.

I prepared myself for the long walk to a local bus station, my feet already dreading the long walk, when I heard the front door close behind me. I turned around, fully expecting it to be Charlie – fully preparing myself to fight another battle – but I was surprised to find that it was just Penny. Small, pregnant Penny that had come outside against her family's wishes.

'He deserved what you said, you know.' She pulled out a key chain, then unlocked the baby blue hatchback that was parked out front. 'Come on, I'll give you a lift to the bus station.'


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Hello everyone! Hope you're all doing fine! I am, only a bit stressed for my exams next week. Anyways, big thank you to _decadenceofmysoul, Emmettluver2010_ and _bethie86_ for their reviews. Now, about this chapter, I am afraid it might be a bit of a filler. A lot is happening, although it might not be the action that you're hoping for (pun intended). Know we're moving towards the real action though (not only pun intended (; ). A short reminder of how much I love reviews and now; enjoy reading!**

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Chapter 8.

When we arrived at the bus station, it was deserted and empty, the flickering electronic signs indicating that the next bus would not leave before tomorrow morning. Penny said nothing and backed the car out of the parking lot, driving me to the train station in the neighboring town without a complaint. With the last train in the direction of Oakland leaving in five minutes, we did not have time for heartfelt goodbyes even if we'd wanted to. Instead of any deep confessions or last words, I looked at the pregnant woman sitting next to me one last time 'Thank you.'

Penny merely nodded, but I knew she understood that I did not just thank her for the ride. And as I walked away, my suitcase in hand, I realized that there had been an understanding in her eyes that went further than sympathy: it was recognition.

Once I sat down in the train that would take me back to campus, I let myself relax for the first time in what felt like an eternity and found that my shoulders were stiff with tension. I kicked of the sensible heels I had been wearing for the past few days – and for much longer, if I was completely honest with myself – and slumped down into my seat. The air in the train was cold, though, and soon I found myself digging through my suitcase in the hopes of finding anything that I could cover the red dress with. I tried not to think about how it had been Charlie's favorite, how it had been in fact him who had prompted me to buy it in the first place, as I pulled a knit green holidays sweater from the bottom of my suitcase.

I inspected with a detached sort of fascination the purple, finger-shaped bruises that were forming around my left wrist, then shrug it off as I pulled the sweater over my head. With the numbness still governing my thoughts, I allowed myself to succumb to the exhaustion that the evening's events had brought on, and soon I was fast asleep.

* * *

I woke up sometime later to a stiff neck, cramped shoulders – and a voice announcing Sacramento as the next station. 'Fuck,' I swore under my breath, then got ready to apologize, then realized I didn't have to. I rubbed my forehead, the sensitive area on my forehead stinging when my fingers grazed it, and I thought about what to do next. I would have to get off in Sacramento and wait for the next train back to Oakland, which would probably not leave before the morning. If the time displayed on a screen on the compartment wall was any indication, that would not be for four hours at least. As it was however, I did not have much choice, and so I quickly strapped my sensible heels back on.

When we arrived at Sacramento, I followed the few other travelers out of the empty train station and into the deserted streets of the sleeping city. By now, it was two o'clock in the morning and even the young partygoers were slowly finding their way back to their beds (or somebody else's). I was watching a particularly drunken girl stumble her way across the sidewalk when I spotted a 24-hour diner just across the street from me. Figuring it was my best option at the moment, I slowly made my way over.

The diner was mostly deserted, save for some rowdy youngsters that sat at one of the booths in the corner. I ignored their howling at my entrance and instead sat myself as far away from them as was possible. When the waitress came over, I ordered a coffee and it was not long before I was absent-mindedly stirring two spoons of sugar into it. I tried very hard to ignore the loud youth, to block out their boisterous talk, but found myself listening in, nonetheless.

By the sounds of it, they had just come back from clubbing and the majority of them was smashed. From what I gathered, the boys were old friends – with frequent references towards some "Miss Fallon" from primary school that apparently all the boys had fancied – and they had come together for a sort of friends reunion. Already they were planning on meeting more often and I concluded that (whether due to the alcohol or genuine pleasure they gained from each other's company) it must have been a successful night.

The scene made me think of my own primary school friends and even those I'd made in my first years at high school in Lodi. I had not seen or spoken to any of them in years and I realized that over time – despite our insurances that nothing would change – we must have simply grown apart, as it so often happens with childhood friends. I wondered what had become of them. Had they all grown up to become successful adults? Lawyers, accountants, parents even? Or did they also feel alone sometimes, as if they were simply not made to fit into the world? Did they too sometimes feel like maybe, somewhere along the road, they'd made a horrible mistake?

I wondered what would have happened if I'd tried harder to fit in at high school. If I'd let Nate fuck me, if he might have taken me as a girlfriend, would everything be different? Maybe then it would have been me who was sitting with a group of friends at some booth in a 24-hour diner, laughing and joking without a care of the world. And although it might have not made me happy I wondered whether it would be preferable to where I was at now. Alone, unhappy, just out of a relationship with a guy that had taken everything from me (not just my innocence, like Nate had, but my entire identity). And for a moment I thought it was.

But then I thought of Donna, of my uncle Piney, of all the guys at the motor club, and I realized that I would have never known them the way I did now if my life had taken a different path. And then I thought of Jax, of our talks and our laughs and all the small little things that had made him so special to me, and I realized that if I'd never called him that night, if I'd never let him in, we wouldn't have shared what we had. It was a bittersweet thought, but I found that despite the heartache, I would not have wanted it any other way. Despite the heartache, I had known love, both given and received and even though it might not have been exactly how I'd wanted it, I would not have traded it for anything.

When I looked at the group of youngsters again, I did not feel the sting of regret anymore and I found that, despite the pain and the heartache and all the mistakes that I'd made, I would not have wanted to be anywhere else than where I was at that particular moment.

* * *

When half past four had come and gone at last, I paid for my coffee, thanked the waitress and spared the empty booth that the group of boys had vacated some time ago a last glance before I stepped outside.

As I walked towards the train station, I found that the air felt less chill to my face and I wondered whether that was because of the slowly dawning morning or the fact that I'd finally found some semblance of peace with my existence. The wounds were still there, but for the first in a very long time I felt comfortable with all the mistakes that I'd made in my life. And when I walked past the bus station and noticed the first bus to Charming was almost departing, I decided that maybe this was a sign of Fate that it was time to make some of those mistakes right again.

Before I had a chance to get back on my decision, I purchased a ticket and sat myself and my suitcase down on one of the many empty seats. It was early morning – and early morning after Christmas, I just realized – and no one was in that much of a hurry to go to Charming at any time of the day, anyway. I sighed, thinking how it was strange that I'd had sat at the Hall's dinner table only mere hours ago, yet it seemed like a lifetime had passed.

The ride to Charming was short and uneventful, yet somehow as we neared the town, I wished that it had taken longer. As much as I knew that I needed to do this, I was also very reluctant to face many of the things that I'd left behind when I went away for college. One of the biggest things – and probably the reason why I was so tensed for all the rest as well – being my former best friend.

I did not know what to expect at this point. With the way I had left so suddenly and had never once contacted him, I could understand if he was angry with me. Then again, I could handle his anger as long as that meant that he still cared somehow. In all honesty, it was the not knowing that scared me beyond anything.

As I stepped out of the bus and onto the platform, I was reminded of a night much like this one many years ago. I had been but a young girl, sad, but above all so very, very lonely. Comparing it to the present, I found that little had changed since that night. I'd found friends and had become estranged from them again. I'd found love and lost it. And I'd cared about someone who had not cared so much about me. I was still sad and lonely, but maybe I was a little less young and a little less naïve.

And so when I took in my familiar surroundings, I did not think of how that first night Piney had come to pick me up or about how I'd sat on a motorcycle for the first time in my life that same night, but instead allowed myself the bittersweet feeling of being home again. A place where I'd made both good and bad memories, but a home it had become to me nevertheless.

With a sigh too heavy for the morning after Christmas, I took my suitcase and started walking. Piney's home and the clubhouse where the closest at this point, but I found that I was not quite ready to face either of those places – or rather; the people in them. And so my feet soon found their way to the one other place that I'd felt loved and as I crossed the distance to Opie and Donna's house, I silently thanked the ugly, but oh so sensible heels on my feet.

* * *

I'd stood in front of the white painted door for what must have been minutes before I finally mustered up the courage to ring the bell.

It was still early – far too early to come visiting unannounced – and I realized I'd never gotten around to tell Opie my definitive answer for New Year's Eve. Either way, I knew they were not expecting me and the coward part of me was hoping that they would not be at home.

I saw a light flick on behind one of the windows and soon I heard the click of the door being unlocked and suddenly I found myself face to face with Donna Winston. And I did not know what to say.

For a moment, we just stared at each other, she in surprise and I with the sudden realization just how much I'd missed her. Her eyes swept briefly over my attire and took in the ruined black shoes, the green Christmas sweater and the skirt of my red dress and I understood what I must have looked like: a mess. She did not say it however and for that, I was grateful. Instead, she pulled me firmly into a bone-crushing hug like only a mother figure can and all else was forgotten.

'I missed you so much, Donna,' I said, tears already welling up in my eyes as I held on to her tightly.

'I missed you too, Ellie.'

When she finally let go, I noticed she had tears in her eyes too and in that moment I realized that maybe I wasn't as alone as I thought. 'Come inside, dear.' And she took my suitcase from my hands and guided me towards the sofa.

Soon, I had a steaming mug of tea in my hands and I found myself spilling all the last months' regrets to her. And Donna, like only Donna knows how, only listened and I knew I would never have to feel alone again.

Whatever happened, I would always have Donna.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Hello everyone. I wrote this chapter when I really should have been studying so yeah, stupid me. Anyway, thank you to _outlawwoman_ and _decadenceofmysoul_ for their reviews. Now, on we go!**

* * *

Chapter 9.

It turned out, Opie wasn't home. Apparently he and some of the other guys had left late last night and were not expected back before New Year's Eve. I could not say I minded.

After finishing my tea, Donna ushered me into the guest room, where I took a quick shower before I snuggled down in the down blankets. I sighed in contentment. Within minutes I was asleep.

When I woke this time, I actually felt rested and I found that all my previous burdens were now a little less heavy to carry. I got out of bed unhurriedly, matched a thick woolen sweater with my simple plaited pajama pants and then padded out of the room on my socks.

As I made my way into the living room, I noticed to my surprise that night was already falling outside the windows. The children were quietly sat before the television, watching some cartoon or another, while Donna was cooking dinner. I quietly made my way over to her, opening one of the cabinets – and still finding everything in their places – and pulled out a stack of plates.

'How are you feeling?'

Her voice was soft, unassuming, but I knew Donna well and I could clearly hear the concerned note in her voice. 'I'm okay,' I smiled as I laid out the cutlery 'Completely rested.'

This made her laugh as well 'Well you should be; you slept most of the day away! Ellie was practically uncontrollable when she heard her Auntie Ellie was in the guest bedroom.' Donna shook her head, but the smile was still there. 'She still sees you as her role model because of your similar names, you know.'

I smiled, then looked mischievously at my niece 'So I better not do anything bad, right?'

'Eliza..' Donna warned, waving her spatula precariously at me 'If you do anything of the sort I swear I will put you out this instance.. And without dinner!'

I pouted at her, then – when I found she was not budging – I sighed. 'Fine, I'll be good. Just thought that she should get some of that Winston fire in her, you know.'

'She gets enough of that from her Dad!'

I chuckled, splashing some water in her direction as I filled one of the glasses at the sink and I realized just how much I'd missed this. 'You're a party pooper, Donna Winston, I'm telling you.'

She pursed her lips, but I could see she was holding back a smile. 'Go make yourself useful Eliza and tell the kids dinner is ready. Have them blow up on you for once when their television time is interrupted.'

I did not argue and instead, with a mischievous smile on my lips, crept up to the couch. Then, I swung myself over the back, landing partly on Ellie and partly on Kenny's lap. Both of the kids screamed, before they recognized me and then they flung themselves at me.

'Come on kids, your Mom says it's time for dinner!'

* * *

The remaining five days until New Year's Eve I helped Donna shop, take care of the kids and I even cooked on one occasion and so, in that sense, it was not much different from what I'd done the first few days of the holidays. And yet, it was completely different.

I was allowed to joke, to play and to laugh. I was talked and listened to. But most importantly, I was loved and valued. And for a moment, I could pretend that everything was all right.

However, soon the morning of New Year's Eve dawned and the moment I stepped into the kitchen, I knew my reprieve from reality was over.

'Put something comfortable on. I told Gemma we'd be there at eleven.' It was kind of a ritual we had developed over the years, where Donna, Gemma and I would do the shopping for the New Year's Eve party and decorate the clubhouse together. It was a moment of bonding – even though Gemma would kill me for calling it that – and I usually enjoyed spending the time with the only other Sons' women that actually had some relation with the club.

'Oh Donna, I.. well, I actually did not plan to go, you know. I did not tell Gemma I would come..'

She gave me a stern look from over her mug of coffee, a look which clearly said "cut the crap". 'It's because of Jax, isn't it?'

I winced at the sound of his name, then nodded reluctantly. 'We haven't exactly parted on the best terms and I am afraid of seeing him.. Of what his reaction will be.'

'You can't keep avoiding each other forever, Eliza,' she put a hand over mine and squeezed it softly. 'Besides, if he would know then I'm sure he would not be mad anymore.'

'Know what?'

She gave me a knowing smile, then let go of my hand. 'Come on, get yourself ready. We both know the wrath of Gemma when things don't go according to plan.'

* * *

Ten hours later and we were only just enjoying our rest, admiring the magic we'd worked on the clubhouse, when the first people started to trickle in. Donna and I remained seated at the bar, when Gemma went out to talk to the first party goers.

Despite her age, Gemma looked absolutely fantastic in her fitted short black dress and I found myself secretly hoping to age as well as she had. Donna, although certainly having chosen something a little more.. modest, did not look any less good. After the kids had been dropped off at a baby sit, I'd helped her with her hair and (discreet amount of) makeup as she'd put on a midnight blue dress and matching suede heels. As I looked at her, I congratulated myself on forcing her to put her hair up, as it made her look younger and more feminine.

Of course, in exchange for allowing me to dress her up, Donna had forbidden me from putting on a regular jeans and sweater and so I found myself in the striped pencil skirt dress – the one Charlie had described as making me look like "a fucking prostitute – and borrowed black (far from sensible) heels. I'd left my hair down to obscure the now yellowing bruise from view and had clasped a broad bracelet around my wrist to hide the other. Even if I felt all but happy to be here, at least I could honestly say I felt beautiful.

Another hour – in which I'd taken to drinking wine to settling my raging nerves – had passed by before boisterous voices could be heard and I looked over the crowd to see a familiar group of men entering through the door. Donna slipped from the bar stool beside me to go and greet her husband, but I hardly noticed. My eyes frantically scanned the crowd until they found the familiar crown of golden hair and I felt my breath catch and for a moment, it was as if time had not passed at all. As the group came closer to the bar, my body increasingly ached to go to him, to talk to him, to hug him. And then he was there, only a couple of feet away, and suddenly our eyes met. His eyebrows raised ever so slightly in surprise at seeing me.

And then the spell was broken. His face turned expressionless once again and he looked away – and I felt my heart break all over again. I watched as he stepped up to the bar, got himself a beer, and then disappeared into the crowd.

'Eliza! What a surprise!'

I blinked, then turned to find Opie suddenly beside me, his wife happily holding onto his arm. I looked at her face, then at his, both waiting, and I realized they were waiting for me to say something. 'Hey Ope,' I lamely smiled, hoping for all the world that I did not look as defeated as I felt. 'Sorry I did not call you back anymore. Between exams and homework and.. well, I just completely forgot.'

He shook his head, smiling 'Just glad to have you here, little cousin.'

I gave him a smile, then took a sip from my red wine. 'If you two don't mind, I'm going outside for a bit. The crowdedness in here is getting to me.' I quickly pushed my way through the crowd. Once outside, I sat myself down on one of the picnic tables and as I looked around the abandoned lot, I realized that it was the very same I'd sat on almost half a year ago.

Half a year… it seemed like a lifetime had passed by since that night. It was a time in which everything had still been possible, when my life was ahead of me and Jax still at my side. I wondered how everything had become so fucked up so fast.

'Fancy seeing you here again.'

I looked up, looking questioningly at the dark haired man that slowly stopped next to my table, wondering why he looked so familiar to me. Then, as he lit a cigarette with a black lighter with two red playing cards etched on it, it struck me. 'It's a small world after all, I suppose.'

He smiled at my words 'You know, you still owe me a cigarette.'

'How about an apology? I can do that.'

'Do you mind if I sit here?'

I shook my head, then threw back the contents of my glass of wine – and grimaced. I allowed myself to slide off the table. 'In fact, it's all yours.'

For a moment, I considered going back inside, but then I thought about the crowd and about all the people I had no energy to face right now, and so I quietly made my way around the back of the building. I carefully climbed the ladder and then sat down at the edge of the roof, thinking of a night that should have never happened.

* * *

I don't know how long I'd sat there before the rustling of clothes could be heard and I knew someone was climbing the ladder. My heart skipped a beat as I realized that it could only be one person.

I watched as first blond hair, then a handsome face, then all else that I'd come to know and love as a part of Jax Teller came into view. He looked rugged, tired and a little drunk, and I was reminded of all the times I'd seen him like this. When he would send me a tired, but relieved smile, would quickly change out of his clothes and would crawl in bed. He stopped in mid-motion as he noticed me and his jaw tensed. Then, he looked away and sat down, the entirety of the roof separating us, but I felt like the distance between us was much larger.

We sat like this for quite some time, neither of us saying anything, yet both painfully aware of the other's presence.

'Why are you here?'

I did not know if he was speaking of the roof or Charming in general and I lifted my shoulders, then let them drop.

He shook his head, then took a swig of a beer bottle 'Gemma made a mistake in inviting you. You don't belong here anymore.'

The words stung and I averted my head so he would not see the tears that were already welling in my eyes.

'You shouldn't have come.'

'I know.' The words were a whisper, yet I knew he heard them; heard the brokenness in them for he turned to me then for the first time. I held my head down, not being able to look at him and see the disgust in his eyes. 'I'm so sorry.'

Silence filled the rooftop again and I knew the conversation was over. I got to my feet slowly, each movement feeling like too much, and made my way towards the ladder. I had one hand on the cold iron when he spoke again.

'Why _did_ you come?'

'Because I had nowhere else to go. Because..' I sighed as I turned around, forcing myself to look up in his eyes. 'Because I love you.'

His eyes widened at my confession, then his brows furrowed. 'Then why did you leave?'

'Because you did not love me back.' I sighed and smiled sadly 'Not in the way I wanted you to, at least.'

He opened his mouth to say something, but I shook my head. 'I just.. I just wanted to be honest, you know?' I shrugged, crossing my arms around my torso in an attempt to hold myself together. 'It's okay, really, I'm not a little girl anymore,' I added that last part in jest, but it came out sad and broken.

'El, I..' He took a step towards me but I held up a hand.

'Don't. I'm going back to Donna's house; you stay here. It's.. it's better this way, okay?'

He did not say anything and I climbed down the ladder, all the way down wishing he would have stopped me.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Ugh! I had an exam today and I am absolutely brain dead because of it. For that reason, I did not plan on writing a chapter, but here I am anyway haha. Anyways, thank you to _Emmettluver2010_ for the review of chapter 9. This chapter contains some.. adult themes. Nothing too explicit though so this is the only warning you'll get haha. Also, I think that after this chapter, there will be one (or two at the very most) more, so we are reaching the end. Just wanted to let you guys know. Now, enjoy the chapter and don't forget to tell me your thoughts!**

* * *

Chapter 10.

The walk home – or well, to Donna's house – was a quiet and sad one. I knew that I had no right to feel bad about how the night had turned out and yet, I could not help but do anyway. A comforting voice in the back of my mind told me that, at the very least, I had righted two of my past mistakes. First, I had apologized to the man whose cigarette I'd stolen on a warm summer night half a year ago. Second, I had apologized to the man who had stolen my heart on that very same summer night, only to have it broken. At least I had made up to them. That being as it may, however, it did little to comfort me.

As I passed by the many houses – with bright lights and the sound of laughter radiating from them – I found myself thinking that Jax had been right. I did not belong here, not anymore at least. There had been a time when I had, when Piney and Jax and the club had made me feel that maybe I did have a place in Charming, but for the life of me I could not imagine ever having felt less hollow.

A sob broke from my lips and all I wanted was to break down, right there on the sidewalk, and bleed my heart out for a life that was never to be, but somehow found it in me to move on; if only so I could break down in the privacy of Donna's guest bedroom.

Somewhere in the dark night, I heard church bells announce the arrival of the new year and, moments later, firework of all colors filled the night sky. When I reached Donna's front door I did not stop to watch them however, instead quickly moving to open the door and slip inside the dark hallway.

The house was thankfully silent and I vaguely remembered that Ellie and Kenny were spending the evening somewhere else. I immediately kicked the high heels off and then continued my way to the bathroom, where I took off the makeup and brushed out my hair. I silently stared at the girl.. _young woman_ in the mirror, at her red eyes, her tear-streaked cheeks, the bruise adorning her forehead, and I found myself wondering – not for the first time – how she had managed to get to this point. Life so far had been like the ocean to me; the tides bringing me good and bad things, the waves sometimes carrying me, sometimes threatening to drown me and I found myself wishing that I was someone else. Someone stronger. I wished I was not simply driftwood, but a ship, with its own course and aim.

I sighed, turning away from my empty reflection when the sound of the doorbell broke the silence. I figured it was probably one of the neighbors, having seen the light on and wanting to wish Donna and Opie a happy new year. I had half a mind not to go, but then the bell rang again and I sighed, zipping my dress back up and padding slowly to the front door. Maybe it was the babysit who..

I never finished that thought, for when I opened the door and saw it was Jax, all previous thoughts went flying out of the window. 'Jax?' I breathed, unaware of the chill night air that hit my bare arms, or anything else but him for that matter.

'El, I..' He stopped, looking more uncertain than I'd ever seen him.

A bit of sense came flooding back to me and I hastily wiped at my cheeks, hoping he would not notice the telling redness of my eyes. 'Is something wrong?' I tried to sound casual, ignoring the sharp pain I felt at seeing him.

His mouth opened once, then closed again, and I was about to ask him if he was okay, when suddenly he stepped forward, cupping the back of my head, and let his lips come down on mine.

For a moment, I was lost in heaven. Just feeling him so close, smelling him, feeling him, _tasting_ him, was enough to make my head spin – and not just from the lack of oxygen. The kiss was firm and yet gentle and for a moment I eluded myself into thinking that it actually meant something. Then, I softly pulled away and let my forehead lean against his. I allowed my breathing to calm before I would speak up and break the dream, but he beat me to it.

'I've been a fucking idiot, El.'

I looked at him, my gaze questioning as my mind still struggled to keep up with what had happened. 'What do you mean?'

The corners of his mouth pulled up slightly in a smile that I knew so well, yet his eyes were tender and full of an emotion that I'd never seen there before. 'I mean that I love you, Winston.'

My breath caught in my throat at his words and reflexively, I turned away. As the heavy weight of those three words sank in, I put a hand against my forehead and took a much needed breath. When a sense of calm finally returned to me, I turned back to face him. 'Are you certain?' He opened his mouth, but this time, I beat him to it, my voice completely serious. 'I need you to be certain, Jax. Because I can't..' I sighed 'I can't get my hopes up, just to watch them fall again. I want to believe you – honest to God, there's nothing that I'd rather wish in the _world_ – but I can't stand the heart ache again. I've spent too much time watering dead plants already, I can't…-'

His lips crashing onto mine effectively shut me up and soon, my hands were lost in his hair; his lips and mine, his hands touching my skin, the only things I was aware of. And then he pulled back and the world slowly got back into view.

'How's that for an answer?'

A smile broke on my lips and in response, I pulled him inside the house by the lapels of his club jacket. Even before the door fell into the lock, my lips were back on his and I allowed my hands to wander his body. Soon, his jacket came off, then his flannel blouse followed and, when I managed to entangle our limbs long enough to free up my arms again, his white shirt soon met the same fate.

In reverse, somewhere in the lust induced haze he had managed to zip open the black party dress and as his shirt fell to the floor, my dress soon joined it. When I stepped out of it, he pulled me back to him and surprised me by lifting me off of the floor. I automatically wrapped my legs around his waist and as pelvis met pelvis, I realized just how much I had needed this.

Somehow, we reached the guest bedroom, but it was only when he laid me down on the matrass, him crawling on top of me, that I realized we were there. 'I love you so much, El.'

I pulled him down for another kiss, his hands already starting to do wonderful things to my body, and I had one last sane thought before I was lost in complete, blissful ecstasy. I love you too.

* * *

I don't really recall the specifics of it – my mind and body having been too sated to do any thinking – but I remember already seeing the sun rise by the time the heat went down. He had collapsed on the matrass, his body, like mine, slick with sweat, and I had let out a content sigh as he had wrapped one arm around me. In a way, it had been exactly like we always lay in the dorm room together. And yet, it was nothing like it. Before I had had any more time to ponder my current situation, I had fallen into an exhausted, but blissful sleep.

Now, with the sun already streaming through the open curtains, I looked at the man that lay still sleeping in my arms. A large part of me still couldn't quite grasp what had happened, or what it meant. That part was enjoying the moment, not knowing how long it was going to last, but loving every second of it. Another part of me was… well, I don't really know what is was. Content? Happy? I did not know how best to describe it; the feeling you get when everything finally seems to fall into place. Whatever it was, it felt amazing.

Slowly, Jax started stirring in my arms and I listened amusedly at the familiar groans, the pop of his shoulder as he stretched and then finally a moan that I knew was not from a hangover, but from the exertion of last night.

'Good morning,' I chuckled, watching as one of his blue eyes opened slowly.

His lips curled up in a smile and he turned his one open eye on me. 'It is indeed. I enjoyed sleeping next to you before, but tonight really brought that to a whole new level.'

I playfully punched his shoulder, shaking my head at his flirty response. 'Fuck you, Teller.'

'You already did.'

Instead of answering, I made it a point to roll my eyes quite obviously, then turned to look out of the window. Although the world still seemed quiet, I knew it must already be quite late. It was a miracle Donna had not barged into my room yet..

'Something wrong, doll face?' He propped himself up on one arm, inspecting my face closely before he quickly pecked my nose.

I smiled at the gesture and turned my gaze back to him. 'Nothing at all.'

'Good, because I don't like it when you're sad.' His gaze turned soft and he lifted his hand to caress my cheek 'You're beautiful, you know that?'

I pulled a face, but he shook his head, tucking a piece of my dull dark hair out of my face.

'I mean it, El, I…' His expression turned troubled and the hand that had rested on my cheek, that had been used to pull the strand of hair from my face, reached up to touch a sensitive area on my hairline. And my expression fell as well. 'What is this?'

'It's nothing,' I did not look him in the eye as I said it. Then, with a smile that did not quite reach my eyes and a certainty in my voice that felt incredibly phony, I locked eyes with his. 'It's in the past.'

I could see he wanted to ask more, but at seeing the begging look in my eyes, he accepted the answer. Now was not the time.

* * *

Much later, after another round of heated kisses, then passionate sex, I had finally gotten dressed and, deciding that I was in high need of some coffee, chanced to step out of the bedroom. With some mad persuasion skills – not to mention the promise of more sex later on – I had convinced Jax to remain in bed (if only so I wouldn't have to explain to Ellie or Kenny why he was in the guest bedroom to begin with). When I stepped into the kitchen, however, I knew the walk of shame was not to be avoided after all.

Opie was sitting on one of the dinner table chairs, a mug of coffee in his hands and the newspaper in front of him. At my entrance, he looked up at me knowingly. 'Well good afternoon to you, little cousin.'

I cleared my throat uncomfortably, yet managed a smile. 'Good day Ope. Any coffee left?'

'Depends.'

'On?' I asked as I chose a black mug from the cabinet.

'On whether you want one mug or two.'

I almost spilled some of the hot liquid on my hand. 'You know? How?!'

Opie looked up from his newspaper, clearly amused. 'If the clothes scattered across the house were not clear enough, or the motorcycle parked out front, I think the sounds would have done it, yeah.'

I turned a violent shade of red, picked up my full mug and fled back to the guest bedroom, followed all the way back by my cousin's boisterous laughs.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Welcome welcome to the last (real) chapter of Time Changes Everything. There will be an epilogue of course, so do stay tuned for that. A big thank you to _decadenceofmysoul_ who was so kind to review last chapter and all the other reviewers, followers and people who have made this story one of their favourites. You are amazing!**

* * *

Chapter 11.

'Is there really no way I can convince you to stay?'

I laughed softly at what must have been his umpteenth attempt. First it was with kisses, then the threatening to withhold said kisses, then the promise of mind blowing sex (spoiler alert: all sex with him was mind blowing) and at last he'd resorted to whining like a little kid. 'I will be back for the weekend, Jax; it's only five days.'

He did not look convinced. 'But..-'

'I got to do this, you know that. I want to feel like I accomplished at least something in my life. Besides, you know I can't let _him_ bully me away.'

Silence fell and I imagined we both thought back to the text message I'd gotten on New Year's day. _My darling Eliza_ , it had started out and I had not known whether to puke or tear my hair out. _I am so terribly sorry for what happened, I never meant to hurt you. I would like it if we could get together for some coffee, talk things through.. I love you, Charlie_.

My first impulse had been to throw the phone against the opposite wall, crawl back under the covers and pretend like I'd never received the message in the first place. With my renewed chance for happiness and my quest to make up for my past mistakes, however, I knew I could not run away from this. I had to see him, if only to make it clear once and for all that I had no interest in ever seeing him again.

'I don't like you meeting him,' his voice had turned serious again and I sighed. Another conversation that we'd already had before; he would say he would not like it, I would say I was going anyway and that was it. I knew where he was coming from however, knew how enraged he'd been after I'd let him in on the whole story, and so appreciated that he respected my decision. Even if that did not stop him from complaining.

'Me neither, Jax..' I made an attempt to smile 'But if you're so worried, why don't you come pick me up on Friday? That way, you can make sure nothing happens and I don't have to travel an hour and a half before I can finally see you again.'

'As long as whatever happens, you remember that it was you who invited me to come.'

I did not even want to know what that meant, having the sneaking suspicion that this could not possibly end well. What with Jax' infamous temper, Charlie's views on the club and my ability to somehow make everything worse, this could only.. I cut myself off from thinking about it and stood on my tip toes to give him a small kiss.

The kiss soon grew heated, though, and I had to break away before I lost all sense of sanity.

He groaned 'I want you in bed – now.'

'I know…'

It was sheer luck that the bus chose that moment to arrive for I knew that if it had taken a moment longer, I would have been unable to refuse Jax anymore. I kissed him one last time – just long enough to make the bus driver look irritably at me as I got in – and then we were off.

* * *

The first two days of college passed by much like they had done the last few months and I started to ask myself why I'd been so determined to go back in the first place. I had my evenings to myself, however, and studying instead of hanging out with Charlie did seem to pay off. I actually did the reading _before_ class and for the first time in the entire academic year, I felt like I understood a word the teachers were saying. Needless to say, I felt pretty great.

It was after one of these lectures, in which I'd even responded to the teacher's question – and correctly, at that! – when I bumped into him. And my happy bubble burst. 'Eliza, it's so good to see you!'

I forced myself to stay calm. 'Hi Charlie.'

'I've been trying to catch you these two days. Maybe we can grab lunch together or something and talk a bit?'

'I thought we agreed to do it on Friday?'

He did not skip a beat at my thinly veiled annoyance. 'The weather's pretty nice now, we can take a stroll around the campus?'

'Eliza!'

I looked up, surprised at hearing my name called. I was even more surprised to find my roommate standing beside us, her icy blue eyes meeting Charlie's for only a second, before she looked at me, her eyes piercing. 'I thought we'd agreed to meet in the library for studying? Don't tell me you forgot!'

Honestly, I was still too surprised by the fact that she even knew my name, let alone would willingly help me out. I shook my head.

'Good!' She grabbed my arm, practically dragging me down the hallway. She let go only after we turned the corner, after which we continued in companionable silence.  
After about five minutes, I realized I had to say something. 'Ehm, thanks, you know. For back there.' I waved vaguely behind us, but I think she got my meaning all right.

'It's no problem. We are roommates, aren't we?' She smiled softly and turned back to look ahead.

I took that moment to study her and realized that I really did not know anything about her, even though we had shared a dorm for months. I knew she washed her hair with lavender shampoo, that she liked to drink red wine, except for the nights when she'd drink herself to oblivion, then she preferred whiskey, and that on those nights she would sometimes cry in her sleep. Apart from that, only tidbits. I knew her name was Jenny, if only because our post arrived in the same mailbox. I knew she studied art, although I'd never actually seen her leave our room. And, I knew she was sad, but to my own shame had never gone through the trouble of finding out why.

And yet, here she was, saving my ass when she really didn't have to. In that moment, I made a decision. 'Hey, do you want to grab dinner together tonight? I'm not much for any of those fancy foods, but there's this pizzeria in town that has the best pizza I've ever had!'

She looked at me for a moment, her blue eyes almost questioning, then her lips curled up in a hesitant smile. 'I would love that.'

* * *

We'd returned to the dorm late that night, both giggling and both slightly tipsy.

Initially, the offer to go out for dinner had been more guilt than anything. I had wanted to somehow thank her for what she'd done, make up for all the months I had coexisted with her without actually seeing her. But as it turned out, Jenny was actually really good company.

We had ordered drinks first, her red wine and me a simple beer. She did not comment when I opted on a simple pizza (only to ask if there were mushrooms on it; there weren't) and decided on the same. We'd laughed at our similar choice in food, then discussed other things we had in common. Turned out, they were not many.

Neither of us enjoyed crowds very much. We both were suckers for nineties chickflicks – and then and there agreed to have weekly movie nights together. We enjoyed crappy food and ice cream. We were both still searching for what we wanted in life. And that's where our similarities ended. Jenny was tall and had a curly black bob. She came from an upperclass family. She was smart and fierce and for a split second I'd felt a little silly compared to her.

Jokingly, I had asked her if she had at least a similarly poor taste in men and she had chuckled. At seeing my questioning gaze, she'd explained to me she was gay and had flipped out her phone to show me a picture of a sweet looking blonde, whom she related was her girlfriend for two years now. In a sadder tone, she told me that her parents had kicked her out when she'd told them about her sexual identity and we fell silent for a moment.

In a poor attempt at lightening her mood, I'd showed her a picture of Jax, saying that he'd been my best friend for years, but my boyfriend only for about a week and a half.

Jenny had laughed at that and at that moment our food had arrived. Over the course of the night, we ordered many more glasses of alcohol, two rounds of desert and at last, when we both felt too full (either with food or alcohol) to stand, we asked for the bill and went home.

It had been an enjoyable evening and even now, as I sat with a massive headache in my first class of the day, I did not regret it. A friendship had been formed and, despite our differences, I felt like we understood each other pretty well.

* * *

Friday came rolling by at last and, to Jenny's annoyance, I was overcome with nerves. I had told her about the meeting last night, if only so she was prepared for the worst – the worst being me brought to jail for my involvement in the murder of Charlie Hall.

'Stop fidgeting,' she complained, throwing a clean pair of socks my way. She was lying on her bed, still in her pajamas, reading a book on Renaissance art. 'You're making _me_ nervous!'

'I can't help it,' I sighed, putting my hair up in a ponytail for the day. 'Shouldn't you get ready for class?'

She gave me a pointed look, then returned her eyes back to the pages of her book 'I'm not going.'

By now, I knew arguing with her was pointless. Jenny was as stubborn as a mule – not to mention; the only person I ever knew who I was convinced would commit a murder just because someone annoyed her. 'Right… well, I'm heading out. I'll stop by the room to get my stuff before I leave for the weekend. See you!'

She did not look up from her book, but I caught her nod. That was as good as it got in the early morning, I suppose.

My classes for that day passed by excruciatingly slow and throughout all of them, I felt Charlie's eyes burning holes in my back. I tried to ignore him, comforting myself with the thought that I only needed to avoid him a few more hours.

At last, when I felt like I couldn't stand it anymore, my last class was over. And suddenly my irritation at his staring turned to nerves. Fuck me for being such a chicken.

I quickly shoved my notebook back in my bag, then made for the door. I was halfway out of the hallway, the outside door only a couple of feet away, when I felt his presence beside me.

'Never seen you walking that fast. Are you that desperate to get out for the weekend?' He joked. 'So, I was thinking about going to the little coffee shop on campus. You know, the one where we used to go, although I think we tasted more of each o..-'

'I know the one,' I interrupted him, suddenly feeling nauseous at the memory. 'But I'm not really feeling up for coffee today. Maybe we can just take a walk?'

I saw him staring at me and a second passed before he nodded 'Sure, whatever you want.'

We stepped out of the front doors, then continued to stroll around the campus in silence. All the time, I felt his eyes fixed on me and I looked at the ground awkwardly. At last, we came to a wooden bench and sat down.

'Eliza..' Charlie began and I fought the urge to look up at him. He sighed 'I'm really sorry about what happened. I never meant to hurt you, you know that right?' He reached out a hand to caress my cheek, but I retreated. 'Eliza, please don't be like this. Surely you know that it was an accident?'

'That's not what it's about, Charlie.'

'Then what is it? You mentioned you listened too much. Is that it? Do you want me to listen to you, because…-'

'It's this,' I finally broke out, waving my hands frantically. 'I've barely said a word and you're here making assumptions about who _I_ am and what _I_ want.'

'Then what _do_ you want, Eliza?'

I faltered at his unexpected question and for a moment I looked up to meet his gaze. What I found there convinced me to say the next words. 'Not this.'

'Not this?' He repeated. 'That's all I get? After all these months you can't do any better than that?'

I sighed, the last time his temper rose only too fresh in my mind. 'I don't have time for this.'

I made to stand up, but his hand encircled my wrist and pulled me back down. 'So what is it then, huh? You don't want me making assumptions, but you don't want to talk. You..-'

'If I were you I would let go of her wrist real quick,' a deep, familiar voice growled from behind me. I did not have to turn around to know who it was and as the hand cutting off the blood flow in my lower arm let go, I leaned back into Jax.

Charlie seemed to grow even angrier at the interruption by this stranger, but then his eyes widened as he took in the cut on Jax's jacket, then the motorcycle that stood parked not far away. His cold eyes found mine again. 'So that's it, isn't it? You leave me just to go back to that biker family of yours. I should have known you were nothing but a biker wh..-'

A sickening crunch cut off whatever bullshit he was going to say and I retreated my hand, shaking off the pain as blood coated my knuckles. I looked down at him as he clutched his nose, glad that I'd righted one more mistake – and only a little proud of the second nose I'd broken.

Behind me, I heard something what sounded awfully like a stifled laugh and then a hand touched my lower back. 'Come on, El. Let's get your stuff and go home.'


	12. Epilogue

**AN: thanks to _sanna11, decadenceofmysoul_ and _Emmettluver2010_ for their reviews of the previous chapter. Unfortunately, this already brings us to the end of our journey together. I thank you all for taking it with me. I've really enjoyed writing this and the awesome readers were definitely a big part of that. One last question to you guys: If anyone can come up with a nice(r) summary than I have now, please do tell me. I suck at summaries so any suggestions are welcome! Now, enjoy the epilogue and don't forget to tell me your thoughts!**

* * *

Epilogue.

The academic year was almost over. And on days like these, all I could think was: finally.

I'd been doing pretty well in my classes, had been hanging out more with Jenny and even sometimes with her girlfriend Pam, and in the weekends I went home to cook for Piney, annoy Donna and, most important of all, see Jax. It was pretty great and most of the days, I was quite happy with where I was in life.

As I walked out of my last lecture for the day, however, my head still aching from all the information that it had _not_ picked up, I was ready for my roommate and mine weekly chickflick night.

Sauntering down the hallway, I did my best to ignore the dark brown eyes that had been following my movements ever since I'd stepped into the classroom that morning. Although he did not talk to me anymore, let alone openly bother me, I could still feel Charlie's gaze on me from time to time. I had tried not to let it get to me, but couldn't help but be relieved that his attention on me was finally starting to lessen.

To my surprise, he had not reported me after I'd broken his nose. Even after going to the hospital, having his nose set and then having everyone ask him what had happened due to the big bruises (or so I was told), he had stuck to his story of getting a football in his face. My name was never mentioned – and I had the sneaking suspicion that Jax had had something to do with that.

As I crossed the campus, I picked up my pace as I noticed a familiar head of blond curls walking just a few feet in front of me.

She looked up as I fell into step beside her, giving me a sweet smile. 'Oh hey, Eliza. How are you doing?'

I scrunched up my face, then laughed 'Could be better. How about you?'

'Jen blackmailed my ass into watching Legally Blonde 2 with you guys, so I could be better, too.'

'Legally Blonde is not that bad!' I defended seriously, though a smile was already threatening to break out. For all that Jenny was fierce, stubborn and unyielding, her girlfriend was the exact opposite. Pam was the kind of girl that you could simply not _not_ like and I had no qualms at all with having her tag along on some of our movie nights – except for that time when they were having sex when they thought I'd fallen asleep, that is..

We walked the last minutes to the dorm in silence and when we'd finally reached the room, I dropped my bag on my bed with a heavy sigh.

Jenny and Pam broke of their kiss just in time to hear the world-weary sound escape my lips and my roommate pulled up her eyebrow, but said nothing.

I was about to start off my rant about professor Achenberg when the sound of Bohemian Rapsody filled the room and it took me a second to realize that it was my ringtone. Seeing Donna's name on the display, I frowned and put the phone to my ear.

 _'Ellie? Are you there?_ '

'Yeah, I'm here Donna. What's up?'

 _'You've got to come home now._ '

'What? Why?' I felt nauseous as I connected the dots. 'Fuck, is it Jax? What happened? Is he okay?'

 _'Jax is fine, Ellie. It's..'_ She was silent for a moment, then sighed. _'It's Wendy. She overdosed; she's stable now but..-_ '

Realization hit me. 'What about the baby, Donna? Is it..'

She did not respond immediately. _'He's not dead. They performed an emergency C-section, but he's ten weeks premature and barely viable. They fear… Well, they've given him only a 20% chance of survival. Jax has been to the hospital but he's not visited Abel.'_ Another silence as I took in her words. _'He needs you here, Ellie.'_

'I'll be there in two hours. See you then, Donna.' I ended the call, still half in a daze about what had just happened. With all that had been going on, I'd hardly ever worried about what would happen when the baby came. Now, it seemed that the situation was even more dire. I cursed softly, then took a deep breath to calm myself before I pulled a handbag from underneath my bed.

'What's going on, El?'

I took another calming breath, throwing my wallet in my bag before I turned to look at Jenny. 'Basically, Jax's ex – remember, the one who was on drugs – she overdosed and now the baby has been born ten weeks prematurely. They've given him a very low chance of survival and, knowing Jax, it's probably killing him.'

She looked worried. Jenny had met Jax during one of the few times that he'd come to pick me up and I knew that she'd liked him – which for Jenny was quite miraculous, since she never liked anyone. Suddenly, she bowed over her nightstand, then threw her keys at me. 'Take my car, it's much faster than public transport.'

'Are you sure? I mean..-'

'I am not going anywhere, El.'

I smiled at her, hoping that it somehow conveyed my gratitude, then quickly grabbed my jacket and ran out of the door.

* * *

It was Thursday evening and the California roads were mostly silent. I'd soon turned off the radio, finding that it only added to my nervousness, and so had ample time to think about the current situation. It was as if reality was only now starting to sink in.

Jax's child, his baby boy, had entered the world at last. And now that he was here, he might very well leave it again soon. Although I did not agree with his decision not to see the baby, a part of me understood. Because despite his fears of being a bad father, despite it not fitting into the picture of an ideal family, despite it not being an ideal situation to begin with, I knew Jax had really wanted to become a father. He'd wanted this baby so bad and now, he was afraid of losing it again. And so he felt like he could better not get attached to him at all.

Having lost my own mother far too early, it was a fear I could relate to only too well.

In the years that I'd spent in Charming, however, I'd slowly managed to let go of that fear, of that past, and move on. I'd learned not to let my life be directed by others and what others wanted from me. I'd learned that running away from your mistakes isn't going to solve anything. I'd learned that sometimes you have to take a risk to get what you want. But most of all, I'd learned that not even the darkest night lasts forever.

Time heals all wounds they say. But that's not what I've found. I've found that sometimes time hurts, time breaks and yes, sometimes time heals. But what time mostly does is change things and it's up to us to decide how we react to it.

Five years ago, I'd never imagined that this would be life as I would know it. I had never imagined that I would lose my Mom, move in with my estranged uncle in a small town named Charming and would meet, befriend and fall in love with the vice president of a notorious motor club. And maybe if I had known all of that, I would have done everything in my might to change it. But that's the beauty of it. Time does not just change things. It changes us, too.

I was not the same girl that came to Charming all those years ago. I had grown, matured and finally turned into a person that I liked seeing in the mirror. I had learned that life was not always wonderful, had learned that it was all right to feel sad, but had also learned that there were also many beautiful things to be happy about in life. And I was damned if I would let the one who had shown me those things be left alone with his grief.

As I neared the exit to Charming, I sent Jax a quick message, asking him where he was. My answer came shortly and I rode the by now familiar way to the Charming cemetery. It did not take me long to find him, sitting by his father's gravestone, and I silently walked up to him.

'Didn't you have classes tomorrow?'

Instead of answering, I sat down next to him and softly covered his larger, calloused hand with mine. We sat like this for a while and as I looked beside me, I noticed silent tears rolling down his cheeks. Pulling him closer, I held his head against in the crook of my neck as his shoulders started shaking. I traced soothing circles on his back, my voice soft. 'It's going to be okay, Jax. Maybe not today, but tomorrow is another chance. He'll pull through.'

* * *

Jax stilled a little at what she said. For although there may be no words that could take his sadness away, no words that could diminish the pain that he felt at that moment, the reminder of the future made his hurt just that little bit more bearable. For no one knows what tomorrow will bring.

And time changes everything.


End file.
